For almost a year Max Malins kept to himself the bizarre reason Eddie Jones gave for axing him from England duty.
He took it on the chin, went back to his club to claim the Premiership top try scorer award - and was right up there again when Jones’ sacking finally freed him from his exile.
All the while he stayed silent on the one-way conversation with the Australian that stopped his Test career abruptly in its tracks and even to this day has him baffled.
“My body language in one walk-through,” said the Saracens wing, who marked his return with a try double against Scotland. “That was the reason given.
“It was an explanation, but I didn't understand it. I was taken aback. I'd like to think my attitude was always there."
Malins, 26, had started the first four rounds of last season’s Six Nations when Jones dropped the bombshell, binning him from the squad for the final game in France.
“He may have seen something," mused the Cambridge-born star. "I'm quite a relaxed guy, not necessarily buzzing around the place all the time. Maybe my relaxed nature put a thought in his head.
“It was gutting. When you're in that shirt and it gets taken away from you, it's tough. I had a couple of weeks away from the game.”
Jones followed up by omitting a player with 44 tries in 61 Premiership appearances from his gun-shy England team for the summer tour to Australia.
“I had a phone call on the morning the squad was announced, he rang me to tell me I hadn't made it,” Malins said. “All you can do is take a step back from it and move forward.”
It is unusual for players to speak out like this, particularly a character like Malins who is all about hard work and letting his rugby do the talking.
That he is prepared to do so now gives the impression he, and perhaps the squad as a whole, have had a considerable weight lifted from their shoulders.
The results will judge whether this is a good thing for England rugby. Steve Borthwick became the first Red Rose head coach this century to lose his first game last weekend.
But there is a sense of wellbeing in camp which suggests the players believe in the new regime.
“Steve's made it clear we're here because of club form,” added Malins. “He asks us to go out there and express what we're good at. He doesn't necessarily highlight your downfalls. As a player that gives you confidence.”
Malins has been transformed, as two tries last weekend showed. He had failed to break his duck in 14 appearances under Jones.
His first he says he will never forget, not least because Marcus Smith promised it over breakfast that morning.
“It came up in conversation that I hadn't scored,” said Malins. “Marcus said 'we'll get you one’.
“I actually lost his cross kick in the lights for a tiny second but thankfully I got it down. For me and my family, words can’t really describe how special a moment it was.”
