Married At First Sight star Jordan Connelly has shared a heartfelt message to ex-wife Chanita following fans' shock at the brutal way he dumped her just weeks after they finished filming the final ceremonies.
The pair were dubbed the 'golden couple' by viewers, who were convinced that they would be the only two who would remain together at the end.
Alas, it wasn't meant to be and after Jordan made some comments about how he wasn't sure that Chanita was the love of his life, it was later revealed that they had split up via video call after heading back home.
Taking to Instagram, he explained that he has struggled to deal with the fact that he's hurt Chanita and, while he insisted that he's "not a bad person", he said that he handled the situation badly and takes "full responsibility".
Jordan admitted that he sometimes he "doesn't think logically" and his "impulsiveness" gets him into situations he doesn't want to be in.
He went on to hit back at suggestions he was trying to "portray a certain image" and said that he "wasn't trying to fake a relationship".
The reality TV star also addressed negative comments he received and how he had been told he was an "idiot" and had "messed up", but conceded that he needs to "remind [himself] that [he has his] own feelings, and [he is] the only person accountable for [his] feelings".
Jordan called Chanita an "amazing person" and said that he still has "strong feelings" for her and that he will "care for her more than she will ever know".
"We continue to speak every day, and I will do everything I can to try and keep her in my life," he said.
In the post, he wrote: "So you may have noticed I have been really quiet on my socials lately, I needed to give myself adequate time to digest/reflect on the experience and to then get myself into a position to tackle everyone’s opinion and the hate which comes with it.
"I cant express how difficult it has been to deal with the fact that I have upset Chanita to the extent I have, I am not a bad person, but I handled the situation badly, and I take full accountability and have learnt an important lesson. If I could turn back the clock and change things I would but unfortunately that’s not possible.
"As with anyone in the world, I have my own feelings and my own flaws. I don’t handle my emotions the best at times, I sometimes don’t think logically and my impulsiveness gets me into situations that I don’t want to be in.
"Regardless of what you may think of me, I can wholeheartedly say that I went into that process 100% myself, I wasn’t trying to portray a certain image, I wasn’t playing up the cameras, I didn’t want to be anything after the show, and I certainly wasn’t trying to fake a relationship. All I wanted was to find love.
"I think going into these shows you need to remind yourself that you are open for judgement, regardless of the tiny percentage of your relationship that people see, and that you need to fully accept and appreciate the opinion of those watching.
"I am getting plenty of messages telling me that I will never get better, how I have messed up and how I am an idiot (they are phrased a bit more harshly), but I need to remind myself that I have my own feelings, and I am the only person accountable for my feelings.
"Chanita is an amazing person, I still have strong feelings and I care for her more than she will ever know. From the bottom of my heart, all I want is for her to be happy. I am so grateful that we shared this experience together.
"We have laughed, cried, and experienced every other emotion in between with each other. We truly seen and done it all, and I love us for that. We continue to speak every day, and I will do everything I can to try and keep her in my life.
"Thank you for the love and support, it’s been a crazy ride."
A number of his co-stars flocked to the comments to support him, with Kwame Badu writing: "We love you we always will and we fully understand you King.
"You reminded us all what love is and how beautiful it can be to meet someone amazing like @chanita__x Wishing you both love and light - now get back to posting regular we miss this smile."
While Jenna Robinson wrote: "love you Jords."
Thomas Hartley commented: "U r a good lad. Proud of you xx."
