Jamie Jackson’s match report has landed, which is my cue to go and see if England can win a cricket match. Thanks for your company and correspondence, and apologies for not getting through all the emails. United have finally beaten a team in the top half of the table. They stay at home this weekend to face Bournemouth, who are in fine form, while Chelsea return to the north-west to play Everton. For now, Man United’s crisis is ebbing rather than flowing, thanks to a midfielder who is outgunning the strikers.
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“This league is very strong,” Ten Hag goes on. “When you are not [on] top [form], like us on Saturday, you get killed.”
“I admire the player,” says Ten Hag about McTominay, diplomatically ignoring the fact that he tried to sell him in the summer. “He came many times in good positions.”
Here’s Erik ten Hag. “This is a good dressing-room,” he insists.
“Garnacho’s inswinging assist,” says Colum Fordham, “was reminiscent of Kvaratskhelia’s beautiful crosses for Napoli.” I wonder if United are thinking of buying him. Or Chelsea.
On expected goals, according to Sofascore, it should have been 4-1. It felt more like a 5-2.
This was a game of 40 shots. Or 41, depending on whose stats you turn to – 27 or 28 from United, 13 from Chelsea. You can’t blame anyone for losing count.
“You’re United’s top scorer,” Scott McTominay is asked, “how did that happen?” He pauses, slightly taken aback, and then laughs and says he could have had more than two if he’d calmed down. He seems like such a good bloke.
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“Bad as they have been, United are only three points behind City after 15 matches,” says Patrick Crumlish. “And City six points off the top!”
“Eating my words!!!!” says Eric Anderson, sportingly. See 21:21.
So United are back in the top six, for now. Thanks to Scott McTominay, their marksman in chief, they now have 27 points from 15 games – nine wins, six defeats, still no draws – although Newcastle may well overtake them tomorrow when they play at Everton.
The big news of the night is that Man City have lost at Villa Park, so they plummet to fourth. Villa are third, two points above City and two below Liverpool, who are two below Arsenal. What price Pep Guardiola in the sack race?
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United’s players change hugs and smiles. They were much the better team on the night, though for a while in mid-match they definitely thought about blowing it.
FULL TIME! Manchester United 2-1 Chelsea
Relief for Erik ten Hag!
90+5 min Corner to Chelsea!
90+3 min Correction! In fact two. It was the post, not Onana, that repelled Broja’s effort – which seems to have been off the shoulder, like a dress.
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90+2 min Time for one of Ten Hag’s defensive subs. On comes Jonny Evans, aged 35, in place of Alejandro Garnacho, aged 19. Garnacho was very good in parts, but also quite wasteful.
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90 min There will be just four added minutes. What is this, 2022-23?
90 min Chance for Chelsea! Broja, with a point-blank header at the far post, well saved by Onana.
89 min Chelsea have a spell of possession, which culminates in a shot from James. It’s a blast, and not in a good way.
88 min Yes, it’s McTominay. Meanwhile Dalot gets a cross in but puts it too close to Sanchez and too far from the onrushing Rashford. Erik ten Hag takes a note.
87 min There’s a bit of messing about on the touchline, and then Ally McCoist has to name the player of the match. Surely McTominay.
85 min Another classy cross from Reece James finds Enzo Fernandez in the six-yard box, but he gets ahead of the ball and can only flick it.
82 min As Chelsea break through Sterling, Dalot gets a yellow card and gives away a free kick in a dangerous area. Fernandez’s shot is easily blocked, and then Rashford comes for a cameo – not on the left but up front, replacing Hojlund, who has now played 763 mins in the league without scoring.
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81 min McTominay, by the way, has six goals this season and five in the last eight league games.
80 min A weak header by James allows United to string together an elegant move. Fernandes to Reguilon, Reguilon to Garnacho, who shoots wide. United have now had 27 shots. Their average this season, before today, was 14 per league match.
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78 min Mudryk has gone off, replaced by Broja, so Chelsea are now going 4-4-2.
76 min Reece James whips in a cross so good that it could be by Trent Alexander-Arnold, but nobody is there to meet it.
74 min United go on the break and Garnacho is clean through, only to be well foiled by Sanchez.
As it stands, Villa are third, just above City. “If Villa can maintain this form,” says Andy Flintoff, “then neither of these teams will be anywhere near fourth.”
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72 min McTominay has a chance for a hat-trick! Sanchez passes out to Antony, who slips in McTominay. For once his touch lets him down and he scoops the ball wide.
Meanwhile Man City have gone 1-0 down at Villa Park.
70 min Reguilon did well on the underlap, fiddling the ball out to Garnacho. His cross curled in and McTominay nodded it in at the far post, simple as you like … But hang on, the VAR is on the case, looking at a push by McTominay. The goal stands!
GOAL!! United 2-1 Chelsea (McTominay 69)
It’s that man AGAIN!
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69 min A spell of United pressure ends with Antony shooting over the far corner. Raheem Sterling is about to come off…
67 min The commentators debate what’s the best these teams can hope for this season. Fourth, says one. As high as that, says the other. The camera, rather cruelly, homes in on Sir Alex Ferguson.
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65 min A sweet move from United – Reguilon finding Antony who finds Garnacho. He can’t decide whether to cross or shoot and ends up doing both at once, or neither.
63 min Fernandes leaves Caicedo for dead and gets a shot in, which goes for yet another corner. McTominay gets his head to the ball, but can’t get enough purchase on it to trouble Sanchez.
61 min Shaw has a shot, hitting it well on the half-volley with his right foot, and United think it’s been blocked by a Chelsea arm. The VAR doesn’t agree, and fair enough – the defender hardly had time to get out of the way.
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60 min As the hour mark looms, Garnacho pays homage to his mate Dalot by overhitting a cross. Meanwhile Marcus Rashford trots down the touchline for a warm-up.
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59 min A Chelsea counter is curtailed by Reguilon, with a fine sliding tackle, much appreciated by the sort of fan who likes to tell the players to get in there.
57 min Caicedo manhandles Hojlund, giving away a free kick. Erik ten Hag’s body language seems to eb saying it should have been a booking.
55 min Shaw plays a loose ball forward, giving Palmer the chance to release James down the right. His cross is crisp but comes to nothing, and he may have been offside anyway.
53 min Instead of end to end, it’s now mid to mid. But then Dalot crosses to Garnacho… and he tries something acrobatic, which goes way over. “He should realise,” says a voice on the commentary, “he’s had his one for his lifetime.”
50 min There were a couple of substitutions at half-time: James for Cucurella, understandably, and region for Lindelof, so Shaw has shunted across to centre-back and Rashford, if he comes on, still won’t get his preferred wingman.
47 min Chelsea win a corner and Shaw kicks the ball away again, unpunished. That would have been a very stupid way to get sent off.
From the corner, Jackson heads over the bar at close range.
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”United just can’t hold onto a lead,” says Eric Anderson. “It’s kamikaze stuff… showing off, trying to get double hat-tricks. Now, watch, they’ll go in to meltdown and Chelsea will win 3-1.”
Just as I type that, Gaby Logan says that Ten Hag’s United have won all the league games in which they’ve led at half-time. It’s Erik v Eric.
Patrice Evra is on pundit duty. “I’ve nothing bad to say,” he beams. “Really happy.”
He is wearing no socks, and says this is because he lives in Dubai.
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United have had 18 shots, Chelsea five. For shots on target, it’s seven-three. But Chelsea have edged the possession by 52 per cent to 48 – two numbers to strike fear into anyone.
HALF-TIME! United 1-1 Chelsea
United bossed the first half-hour, but missed a penalty. And then it came back to bite them as Cole Palmer’s ingenious solo effort cancelled out Scott McTominay’s well-taken opener. The last 20 minutes were pretty even, so Chelsea may be the happier team as they quaff their Lucozade.
45+8 min As Fulham score their fourth, Antony wins a free kick which doesn’t come to anything.
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45+6 min The corner leads to another corner. Sanchez flaps at it, but wins a free kick as McTominay was getting too close to him.
45+5 min Cucurella, a square peg on the right, gets down the wing for once but has his pocket picked by Garnacho. Then the roles are reversed as Garnacho charges into the box and Cucurella concedes a corner.
45+3 min The crowd have gone rather quiet, possibly because they’re all in the queue for the overpriced meal deal.
45+2 min Plenty of time left for United to reply, and that’s just in this half.
45+1 min Chelsea deserve a goal… But United should have three.
45 min Palmer may have to be given an assist for this as well as a goal. He wiggled his way along the edge of the box, apparently going nowhere, but then saw a chink of light and slotted the ball into it, into the corner, past a startled Onana.
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GOAL! United 1-1 Chelsea (Palmer 44)
This is brilliant!
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44 min Rumour has it there will be EIGHT extra minutes.
43 min The corner is taken short and passed on to Fernandes, who tries yet another shot, rather too optimistically.
42 min Bruno Fernandes fancies it, but his shot is deflected for a corner.
41 min Chelsea pass the ball around at the back. United win it back and get a free kick as Hojlund is felled by Caicedo. It’s five yards from the D.
40 min In other news, Fulham are 3-0 up against Forest and Brighton have come back from a goal down to lead Brentford 2-1. Nil-nil as yet at Villa Park. Are Man City heading for yet another draw?
39 min Now McTominay is down and receiving treatment from the physio after a collision with a defender.
37 min Garnacho takes United’s umpteenth shot, which is blocked. He evidently didn’t see Shaw overlapping into space to his left.
36 min Yet another chance! For Mudryk, racing down the left and shooting wide of the near post.
34 min McTominay sends Antony though – or would do if Antony wasn’t falling over. He remains a rather hapless figure.
Big save by Onana!
33 min This is getting silly… Sterling is away, Jackson is alongside him, he should score but Onana pulls out a fine sliding stop in the David de Gea tradition.
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Double save from Sanchez!
32 min Two more chances for McTominay! A header and a shot, both saved by Sanchez at point-blank range.
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31 min Sanchez blots his copybook by passing straight to Antony. He tees up McTominay, who takes United’s 12th shot of the game – blocked.
30 min There’s a pause while a linesman gets his mike sorted out. One cameraperson is so bored that he finds a famous face in the crowd: Jeremy Clarkson. No comment.
28 min Another fine move from United, involving a collector’s item: a right-footed cross by Antony. It ends up with a shot from Garnacho, also with his wrong foot.
United have had 11 shots already. And one poor penalty.
27 min Jackson looks larger to atone for his mistake, but he is being well policed by Maguire. The Premier League player of the month for November, no less.
25 min Chelsea do look as if they have a goal in them. They cruise into the box, Sterling goes down with Lindelof in the vicinity, but the ref isn’t interested.
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24 min A moment of calm allows me to glance at the mail. “Don’t know if you agree Tim,” says Ross O’Connor, “but it seemed to me the way Fernandes did that little skip before hitting the pen he could only possibly hit it to the keeper’s right. That plus it being a generally weak effort made it a relatively easy save.” I do agree.
22 min Another yellow for United as Garnacho is booked for dissent. That’s two silly booking already, both down the United left. Reguilon and Rashford may be coming on earlier than they expected.
20 min That was a lovely move, after Jackson was dispossessed by Amrabat. Fernandes slipped Garnacho through. He pulled back to Maguire, whose shot was blocked, before McTominay, near the penalty spot, stepped in – flicking the ball up with his right foot and volleying with his left. Classy!
GOAL! United 1-0 Chelsea (McTominay 19)
There it is!
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18 min Big chance for United! Fernandes to Dalot, back to Fernandes… Antony should score.
17 min Fernandez has a shot from distance and it’s Onana’s turn to make a comfortable save.
16 min Yet another shot, from Antony this time. Easily saved by Sanchez, who has been the player of the match so far.
14 min Garnacho’s shot brought another good save from Sanchez. Now Shaw goes into the book for kicking the ball away after conceding a free kick. The ref didn’t give the card at first, then seemed to be swayed by some Chelsea protests. That’s supposed to be a card too, isn’t it?
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13 min It’s end to end now. Garnacho is free down the left and should score. Then suddenly Jackson is in and should score. Spoiler: neither does.
12 min Chance for Chelsea! Mudryk, slipped through by Jackson, hits the side netting after some good delaying tactics from Maguire.
11 min Another good move from United, who have been well on top. Fernandes, unfazed by his failure, sends a gorgeous ball across to Antony, whose cross is hopelessly overhit.
10 min Sanchez did well there, ignoring the stutter and waiting for the shot. He palmed it out towards Hojlund, who shot into Row Z.
MISSED PENALTY!
Fernandes tries to pass it into the corner, and fails.
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Bruno Fernandes can’t give this one to Marcus Rashford, so he steps up himself.
Penalty to United!
It was Enzo Fernandes, dashing in from midfield. Antony had already played the ball, so it was doubly silly of Fernandez.
Possible penalty!
The VAR sends the ref to the monitor … because Antony was trodden on by someone … Likely to be given.
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6 min Another United attack … sabotaged by Antony, who should shoot with his right foot rather than wiggle onto his left.
5 min In the battle of the full-backs, United are winning hands down. Dalot’s cross is uncomfortably bundled out by Cucurella. What is he doing on the right, with James on the bench?
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Close! Hojlund for United
4 min More good work from a United full-back, Shaw this time. He feeds Hojlund, who takes an early shot from a tight angle. Saved by Sanchez with a big left paw.
3 min Half-chance! Fernandes hits a long shot over the bar after some neat work by Dalot on the right.
2 min Levi Colwill sends Nicholas Jackson down the left. He nutmegs Harry Maguire. Colwill is at left-back, Cucurella on the right, Disasi in the middle.
1 min Chelsea kick off and head deep into their own half, where United’s pressing keeps them for now.
“I suspect that Varane back injury has been caused by studiously avoiding eye contact with Ten Hag after those reports earlier in the week,” says Jamie O’Sullivan. “It says here ‘They’ve spoken to him about their other experiences of playing for big clubs, and they feel that the manager should be a little bit more touchy-feely’ – ‘Raphael I know this was you, literally no-one else has played for a big club’.” Ha… Not Casemiro? Or Mount?
The teams emerge from the tunnel. United are in their classic red, Chelsea in their classic blue. It’s as if nobody had ever invented a ridiculous away strip.
“Juan love,” says the subject line of the next email. “It’s unfortunate,” Peter Oh continues, “that a certain Spanish technician is no longer at United to compete for a place in midfield. I would have loved to make a ‘Mainoo over Mata’ quip.”
An email! “From the glory days of superweight sparring,” says Krish Krishnamoorthy, “this has been reduced to a sideshow. A mid-table skirmish far from the race to the title. I anticipate a terrible game probably ending in a 1-1 draw with a couple of comic goals.”
It’s certainly a possibility. United have been strangely constipated at home this season, scoring only eight goals in seven league games. But then Chelsea are just as likely to draw 4-4 as 1-1.
Raphael Varane is missing tonight, apparently with a sore back. Possibly caused by spending long hours on the bench. Jonny Evans, who has been out for a month, is fit enough to replace him among the subs.
This might suit Rashford
Say what you like about Rashford, he’s a very good sub. He’s done the job many times for England and every so often for United (rather too often under Jose Mourinho). If he does get on the pitch tonight, he will be able to dovetail with Luke Shaw – the winger’s favourite wingman – for the first time since August.
It's rotation, says Erik
Erik ten Hag is talking to Amazon Prime, and introducing them to his magnificent grey roll-neck. He is asked whether Martial and Rashford’s demotion reflects their performance. “No, we played bad as a team, not as individuals,” he says. “It’s part of rotation.”
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Teams in full
Manchester United (probable 4-1-2-3) Onana; Dalot, Maguire, Lindelof, Shaw; Amrabat; McTominay, Fernandes; Antony, Hojlund, Garnacho.
Subs: Bayindir, Wan-Bissaka, Reguilon, Evans, Mainoo, Van de Beek, Pellistri, Martial, Rashford.
Chelsea (probable 4-2-3-1) Sanchez; Disasi, Thiago Silva, Colwill, Cucurella; Caicedo, Fernandez; Sterling, Palmer, Mudryk; Jackson.
Subs: Petrovic, James, Badiashile, Maatsen, Gilchrist, Castledine, Washington, Matos, Broja.
Referee Chris Kavanagh.
Teams in brief: Reece James on the bench
Reece James is fit again but only on the bench. Poch brings Cole Palmer in to replace the suspended Connor Gallagher at No 10. Marc Cucurella comes in too, so Levi Colwill moves in the opposite direction to Luke Shaw, from left-back to centre-back.
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Teams in brief: Martial and Rashford dropped
Yes, Rashford is among the subs and Anthony Martial too. Aaron Wan-Bissaka also drops to the bench, along with Kobbie Mainoo. In come Antony, Rasmus Hojlund, Sofyan Amrabat and Victor Lindelof, which means that Luke Shaw can return to left-back.
Rashford ‘benched’
Marcus Rashford on bench for Chelsea game.
— Laurie Whitwell (@lauriewhitwell) December 6, 2023
Rasmus Hojlund, Alejandro Garnacho, Antony front three.#MUFC ⬇️https://t.co/H8hgFzaTDU
Preamble
Evening everyone and welcome to a clash that was once the biggest thing in British football. These days, it’s more a case study in how are the mighty fallen.
Mauricio Pochettino’s Chelsea can be very good or very bad, but at least they seem to be going in the right direction. They even managed to beat Brighton with ten men. While that was only their second win in six league games, their performances tend to be better than their results. And they make things happen: in those six games they have scored 14 goals and conceded 15.
Erik ten Hag’s Manchester United can be good, bad or ugly, sometimes all in the same match, and are going nowhere at the moment. Their performances tend to be worse than their results. United make things happen in the Champions League but not in the Prem, where their last six games have yielded only 12 goals (seven for, five against). According to reports from four separate news outlets, Ten Hag has lost about half the dressing-room. The club’s response was to ban the messenger – never a good look, or a wise move.
The most damning fact about United is that they have yet to manage a point all season against a club in the top half of the table. This morning Chelsea were 10th.
Will Ten Hag drop Marcus Rashford, or give him a helping hand by restoring him and Luke Shaw to their natural habitat on the left flank? We shall soon see. Kick-off is at 8.15pm GMT and I’ll be back about 7.20 with the teams.
