Thursday’s 3-3 draw at Porto means Manchester United have conceded 12 goals in the opening nine games of the season, and there are recurring themes: the scorer allowed a lot of space in the box, defenders not being aggressive enough, crosses being a particular problem. We analyse every goal and give each one a rating out of five for awfulness. We’ve not included the Community Shield as that was only partly competitive. You might want to look away, Erik …
Danny Welbeck, Brighton (3/5)
João Pedro produced a dangerous cross from deep on the right under no pressure, which Harry Maguire decided against dealing with, allowing the ball to reach Kaoru Mitoma completely unmarked. The Japan winger had time inside the penalty area to take a touch and see Danny Welbeck standing alone on the edge of the six-yard box. Mitoma found Welbeck, who slid the ball into an almost empty net to score against his former club.
João Pedro, Brighton (4/5)
After United had failed to clear an injury-time corner, Brighton came back at their opponents, not that Ten Hag’s side had much to worry about given they had 10 players inside their own box. The ball was worked back to Simon Adingra, who had space to chip a cross to the back post where there were two unmarked blue and white shirts waiting, including João Pedro, who kept calm and headed into the corner from five yards to earn Fabian Hürzeler’s men a 2-1 victory. Matthijs de Ligt, Scott McTominay and Lisandro Martínez were marking space and, despite all their experience, had no knowledge of their surroundings.
Luis Díaz, Liverpool (5/5)
Casemiro is one of the most experienced central midfielders in world football but he learned something new on the first day of September: playing a first-time pass to Ryan Gravenberch is incredibly stupid. The Brazilian’s misdirection quickly gave Liverpool a five on three advantage with United unable to cope with the speed of the transition, hindered by their full-backs being high up the pitch expecting an attack. Gravenberch found Mohamed Salah, who chipped the ball to the back post where Dominik Szoboszlai and Luis Díaz had been afforded most of the penalty area to set up camp and from where the Colombian eventually directed a header beyond André Onana.
Luis Díaz, Liverpool (4/5)
Lightning does not strike twice … unless you are Casemiro, who was also at fault for Liverpool’s second goal in their 3-0 win at Old Trafford. The Brazilian was dispossessed by Díaz and Liverpool transitioned in a flash. United actually had the numerical advantage this time but, despite this, Díaz was left alone on the penalty spot, slap bang between De Ligt and Martínez, who clearly did not want to disturb the Colombian’s plans. Salah was allowed to slip the ball to his South American teammate, who spun on the spot before firing into the bottom corner of Onana’s net. Casemiro, in an act of necessary mercy, was removed at half-time.
Mohamed Salah, Liverpool (3/5)
With Casemiro off the pitch, Kobbie Mainoo showed he has learned a thing or two from his teammate by being easily brushed aside by Alexis Mac Allister. With Noussair Mazraoui and Diogo Dalot high again, the Argentina midfielder found Szoboszlai, who was part of a four-man attack against United’s two centre-backs. Dalot did his best to race back but Salah produced a wonderful first-time finish into the near corner. Once again it was a case of United losing the ball in their own half. To do it once in a match is unfortunate, twice is sloppy and a third time is plain incompetent.
Sam Lammers, FC Twente (4/5)
Giving the ball away when facing your own goal is only going to cause your team problems. Christian Eriksen found that out the hard way when he turned inside, not expecting Sam Lammers to come racing up to dispossess him. Martínez was a long way up the pitch, forcing Maguire to cover him, but he completely missed a tackle on Bart van Rooij, leaving both centre-backs out of position and a gaping hole for Lammers to run into. The former Rangers man gave Onana the eye and smashed his shot in at the near post to secure a 1-1 draw for the Dutch side at Old Trafford.
Brennan Johnson, Tottenham (5/5)
Micky van de Ven was recently credited as the fastest player in the Premier League. It helped his case that United allowed the defender to get up to his full speed by galloping 60 yards unopposed. The Dutchman won the ball in his own half and sprinted forward while everyone in red backed off, allowing him to reach the byline and deliver a cross to the back post where Brennan Johnson – and you really will not be surprised to hear this – was completely unmarked. Dalot was alongside the Wales international on the halfway line when he started his run but decided against keeping up with him.
Dejan Kulusevski, Tottenham (4/5)
Martínez was left on the floor after failing to intercept Dominic Solanke’s header on the halfway line, leaving United a man light. Johnson collected the loose ball and sprinted into open space on the right wing as Dalot, again, was awol, making his way into the box where De Ligt’s attempt to block the cross came far too late. Johnson picked out the unmarked Dejan Kulusevski, who jabbed home from six yards. United were down to 10 men at this point but it was once again far too easy for Spurs to move through the gears and score unopposed.
Dominic Solanke, Tottenham (4/5)
Lucas Bergvall swung a corner to the near post, which Pape Sarr flicked for Dominic Solanke to turn in for 3-0, the striker having wandered through untracked from a few yards out. A classic corner routine and a clear illustration of the disorganisation that has come to characterise United’s defending.
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Pepê, Porto (4/5)
Two goals ahead and nothing to worry about – unless you are Erik ten Hag’s Manchester United. Zero pressure on the ball allowed João Mário to whip in a dangerous cross. Mazraoui, to be fair, won the first header but in doing so forced Onana into a save. Martínez was on his heels and did not react, allowing Pepê to nod in the rebound from close range. No pressure, no marking, limited hope.
Samu, Porto (3/5)
Again, a problem with crosses. United did not deal with the original delivery, resulting in another unchallenged delivery from João Mário. On the upside, Samu was not left in acres of space; instead he had to overpower De Ligt in order to head home from a few yards out. The Dutchman threw out his arms in despair but he knew he had not been up to the task.
Samu, Porto (4/5)
Pepê did as he wished between left-back and centre-back. Martínez tried to go over to cover but was outpaced, allowing the Porto wide forward to get into the box and pull the ball back for Samu who, once again, was too quick and too smart for De Ligt at the near post, steering home with limited fuss to make it 3-2 to the hosts. Only Maguire’s late header prevented yet another embarrassing loss for Ten Hag, but that wait may not be long with a trip to Aston Villa next up on Sunday.
