We can only assume that Macnhester United Erik ten Hag keeps staring out of windows at Carrington with a hand gently resting on the glass, only to be roused of the white noise of his own thoughts by the realisation that a concerned Steve McClaren has been talking to him in a cod-Dutch accent for some time without response.
That’s because The Sun write that unidentified Manchester United players have ‘noticed a change’ in ten Hag (new glasses?), inferring from that rather vague and unquantifiable difference in his demeanour that the Dutchman may have resigned himself to the sack this summer. (Probably misses his old glasses).
That’s about as much detail as we get from the report, though the paper had previously also claimed that new United part-owner Sir Jim Ratcliffe has sounded out former Brighton and Hove Albion and Chelsea boss Graham Potter as a potential replacement.
Graham Potter sounded out for Manchester United job as Erik ten Hag listens to The Sound Of Silence on repeat or something
Sky Sports News have fuelled that fire by reporting that Potter had turned down an offer to take over at ten Hag’s former club Ajax, as well as giving a ‘non’ to Lyon back in September.
Potter has been out of work since being dismissed by Chelsea last April, though the club’s continued underwhelming-to-inconsistent form this season under Mauricio Pochettino may well cast his spell at Stamford Bridge in a rather kinder light.
Ten Hag has meanwhile had several false dawns at Old Trafford, the most recent of which was overseeing his side’s 4-3 FA Cup quarter-final victory over Liverpool last month.
United have proven unable to build on that, however, returning to their most frustrating bad habits by throwing away seven late points from winning positions against Brentford, Chelsea and Liverpool.
That keeps United well adrift of mounting a late-season assault on a Champions League place: fourth-placed Tottenham and fifth-placed Aston Villa both sit 11 points ahead of United, with Villa having played a game more.
Ten Hag is no stranger to speculation about his future at United, with rumours of an awaiting axe hounding him for months.
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Our headline here says Manchester United are plotting to splash out £125m in a double swoop to fix their problem position, which is an excellent tease because that could literally refer to any part of the field.
Plus, up to a dozen players could soon be joining ten Hag at his hypothetical sad leaning window, and three non-Graham Potter candidates have been posited as potential successors.