It is one of football’s dirty little quirks that Erling Haaland can go from the Premier League ’s lethal weapon to eight-touch flop within a matter of days.
To be more specific, it is one of football Twitter ’s dirty little quirks. The knee-jerk reactions that were once confined to whichever stadium the 90 minutes were being played in are now published for the world to hyper-scrutinise and debate in 240 characters of reflexive hot takes.
It would too simplistic – and incorrect – to conflate Haaland’s eight touches with a poor performance. The Norwegian provided Ilkay Gundogan with an assist. His mere presence on the pitch was that of a vortex, sucking Bournemouth ’s defence to him and opening spaces around him for his teammates to exploit. And, if we’re being picky, Haaland would have likely had a ninth touch, and more significantly a goal, if Phil Foden had done the proper thing and squared to his No. 9 instead of gunning for glory.
