A survivor of the Manchester Arena attack who takes a teddy named after her dead friend to music concerts has been bombarded with cruel taunts from online trolls - who tell her she "complains more than war veterans".
Lyric Holmes was just 14 years old when she attended the Ariana Grande concert an the Manchester Arena in 2017, where her friend Eilidh MacLeod was one of the 22 people who tragically lost their lives in a horrific bombing after the show, leaving over 1,000 people injured. The graphic designer started sharing her experiences from five years ago on TikTok earlier this year in a bid to provoke conversations about grief.
Although most of the comments she's received have been supportive, Lyric says she's been subjected to abusive comments, telling her to 'get over it' and making jokes about the tragedy. She has also been sent horrific images online that allegedly show dead victims of the attack, as 'evil' tormentors seek to get a reaction out of her.
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As a result of the attack on May 22nd, 2017, the 19-year-old has suffered with PTSD and at one point, struggled to leave the house because she lived in fear of it happening again. Earlier this year Lyric bought a pink bear, in honour of her best friend's favourite colour, and named her Eilidh in tribute to her pal that she takes with her to concerts to keep herself calm.
Lyric, from Doncaster, South Yorkshire, said: "I've started sharing my experiences online in the past year. I've had other people reach out to me to share their experiences as a result, and that's what I like about TikTok. It's a safe space for all of us to feel okay with how we're feeling. There's a lot of stigma on how long you should grieve for or how long your PTSD should last.
"I don't always get the most supportive comments. The petty comments, probably written by a 14-year-old, don't bother me as much. I know that by posting about something so sensitive online, I'm opening myself up to some of these comments, but there are some really horrible people.
"Sometimes I'll get messages on Instagram where people send me photos of dead bodies from the arena. Some people had gone in after the attack to take pictures. When I get those types of messages, I think 'gosh, how evil of a person do you have to be to have those photos saved on your phone and to send it to somebody you know was affected by that?'.
"People will send me pictures and videos from the actual day thinking it's funny and to try and get a reaction. I've come so far in therapy and then when I get messages like that, it feels like I'm back at the event."
Lyric says she has been frequently told that she 'complains' more than war veterans, despite having received support from that community. She added: "I also get a lot of Americans commenting stuff like 'war veterans complain less than you'. I don't want to invalidate any veterans' experiences. They should have a space to talk about their PTSD.
"I've spoken to lots of war veterans and they've said they support me, they've been in similar situations so they understand. It's the 14-year-old keyboard warriors thinking they're clever who write these sorts of comments. A lot of people will make jokes using Ariana Grande's song 'Bang Bang'. They'll write comments like 'this blew up'.
"I just think 'you're not funny and you're not original'. Thousands of other people have said that joke. I made this video to show people what people are saying, but I'm still online and not paying any mind to it. I also wanted people to see that their comments can hurt people and that I'm a real person at the end of the day."
Lyric and Eilidh had been online friends for two years prior to the attack. Lyric said: "We'd been texting for two years, but because she lived in Scotland, it was a bit of a nightmare planning to meet up. She passed away in the attack. I was still inside the arena bowl when it happened, I'd waited behind - it's something I do after a concert. I just sit and take it all in.
"She'd gone out ahead of me. When it happened, I didn't leave the house at all. I dropped out of school to be home-schooled and I basically stayed in the house for a couple of years. I got really bad agoraphobia. If I went outside and saw somebody dressed in black or wearing a backpack, it would take me back.
"I was 14 at the time, the attack really stunted me. I wasn't going out to see friends or to go shopping, the normal things that
14-year-olds do. I was diagnosed with PTSD after the attack, I'm still in treatment to this day. I think the PTSD mostly came from the fear of thinking that this could happen again. You'd never think that by going to a concert, that this sort of thing could happen.
"And once it happens, you think 'where else is it going to happen?' You get on the bus and think 'oh my god, what if someone targets me here?' A lot of the treatment I did was to help me to overcome these feelings of 'it should have been me who died'. It was the survivor's guilt.
"I didn't know how to function. It's in this last year that I've connected with other people who were at the attack and they gave me
support and tips on how they deal with it. That's what has been special - the sense of community. You get that when you go to Manchester for the memorial services.
"My friends and family can't fully understand it because they weren't there. Other people from the attack understand, connecting with them has been really healing."
Lyric's first concert after the attack resulted in her suffering a massive panic attack, but she has since found that the company of her
bear, Eilidh, to be a comfort. Lyric said: "I got the bear in February. It's been really healing. I know she's not here with me, but it's been nice to know I can take a piece of her everywhere I go.
"I take her to concerts. It makes me feel at peace, it feels like she's watching over me. That might sound insane to some people, but
it's my way of coping, I guess. The first concert I went to after the attack was in February 2020. I had such a bad panic attack and passed out, I had to be taken out in an ambulance.
"I thought 'Oh god, concerts aren't for me'. But once I had the bear, I could hold her if I was panicking at concerts. People see an adult with a teddy bear and think 'Oh, that's really weird'. But it takes you back to your root of comfort. It's been really calming, it's been a great tool for healing. I can now go to concerts and not panic as much, because I have her with me."
Trolls have left various comments on Lyric's TikTok account, poking fun at the attack and mocking her grief. One wrote: "This video really blew up", whilst another said: "I heard that concert was the bomb." Another commenter wrote: "Kids in the Middle East go through it everyday and they don't go on about it as much."
One commenter remarked: "Bro grow up, you don't have to complain so much, it happened ages ago." A fellow critic wrote: "War veterans complain less than you do."
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