A pregnant woman is shocked that her partner is "dead against" marrying her to protect his money and assets. On the popular forum Mumsnet, she explained that her boyfriend is "money orientated" and has shared concerns about what will happen to his pension and investments if they divorce in the future.
On the relationships thread, she wrote: "Partner doesn't want to get married for a few reasons. I have been married before - he seems to judge me for this. The main reason is he suggests what if I decide to not want to do it after 10 years...? He loses half his pension and investments he has. This chat has completely thrown me because I did not anticipate finances to be at the back of my reasons for not wanting to get married.
"He is very money orientated, it drives him. Yet he will not apply himself or develop himself at work to earn a higher salary for us as a family. I have since found out I am pregnant. We may struggle financially with a new child. I achieved my degree last year and intended to go back to work. I am now out for another two to three years. He doesn't seem to get that this is a thing for me. Getting married gives me some security and protection I guess. He is dead against it.
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"He has built up a relationship with my other children, and it's lovely. He suggests why throw this all away for a piece of paper, is he right? The children are doing good that he is present. Their own father is no longer with us, died some years ago.
"I feel vulnerable. When explaining this to him, he has hit out with the comment, 'why did you get pregnant then?'. I feel this is very harsh. Struggling with my own needs and not wanting to let go of that but also wanting to keep the family we have built together. What would you do?"
Many Mumsnet users thought the woman should prioritise herself and leave her partner. One commenter said: "Honestly - run. He does not see you as a life partner. He sounds profoundly selfish and I'd put money on you doing 100% of all raising the child and taking a huge hit professionally and financially. He has made it clear he will not support you in all the ways you need him to have a child with him."
Another said: "Such a massive red flag. He has shown his colours - his finances are more important to him than the mother of his child." While another added: "He's not a keeper. What a selfish sod."
Other users did not understand why the woman would be out of work for so long. One said: "Why are you ‘out’ for another two to three years? I worked up to 39 weeks pregnant and am taking nine months of maternity leave." Another added: "If you want the child go ahead, but go back to work as soon as you can, and he pays towards childcare. He also pays his share of all bills for the child. Personally, I would be considering options for going it alone."
Do you agree with Mumsnet users or do you think the woman should stay with her partner? Let us know in the comments below.
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