They often say the past is a different country, and never has this been truer than in the list of Christmas wishes from Manchester United 's 1992-93 squad.
Alex Ferguson's players ended a 26-year wait for a league title that year, and in the process became the inaugural Premier League champions. Back in December, though, that didn't appear to be top of any of their Christmas lists.
The United Review programme offered Fergie's squad the chance to make one request of Santa, providing they stayed off his naughty list. The results are extremely revealing, not just in terms of giving insight into certain personalities but also in reminding us who actually played for the Red Devils at the time.
Are footballers harder-working now than back in 1992, and less desperate for short-cuts? Based on the fondness for miracle cures here, it's a resounding 'maybe'.
Brian McClair was after a pre-season fitness pill, prompting Mirror Football to wonder whether this was for what he did in the summer of 1992 or what he planned to get up to in the summer of 1993. Mark Hughes, meanwhile, wanted "a miracle cure for greying hair".
Now, we've got two things to say about that, Mark. The first is that we've seen photos from 1992 and 'greying' might be generous. The second is that it's 2022, hair dye exists, and your hair is still grey. What's your game, Sparky?
What is your footballing Christmas wish? Let us know in the comments section
It seems Hughes had a bit of a reputation among United's squad at the time. Not for his hair colour, but rather for his fondness for cars. Paul Parker wanted to be able to change cars as often as his team-mate, but it was Lee Sharpe ('Lotus Espirit' [sic]) and Ryan Giggs ('BMW Convertible') who wanted new wheels.
Now we know what you're thinking. That's right, Giggs should have asked for the hair thing.
Steve Bruce's request, meanwhile, still has us baffled. "Cambridge Diet Plan" is the verdict from the then-central defender and now-novelist. Maybe he was just in awe of Dion Dublin, signed from Cambridge United a few months earlier (we know what it really is, please don't write in).
Dublin himself, of course, was out with a broken leg at the time, which explains him asking Father Christmas for a "Potion for curing football injuries instantly". Team-mate Russell Beardsmore had different priorities, pursuing a skiing holiday, though as Manuel Neuer knows all too well that can produce a similar outcome.
The early Premier League era didn't have the serious nutrition focus we see today. At least, we can only assume that was the case, given how willingly Paul Ince and Gary Pallister were prepared to share their tastes.
Ince wanted a Big-Mac [sic], Chicken Sandwich [sic], Large Fries and a Pile of Ketchup [sick [sic]]. This prompted us to check whether McDonald's was new to Manchester at the time. Nope, there had been at least one when the Market St branch opened in 1983, but Ince was still just as enthused a decade on.
Gary Pallister, meanwhile, asked to be "let loose in Thornton's Toffee Shop". Not a weird way of requesting a transfer to Everton, and nor was it an allusion to boy band Let Loose, unless he had some inside info. They weren't formed until 1993.
Finally, the more realistic dreams, along with the more idealistic. Eric Cantona simply wanted everyone to get the present of their choice. A lovely thought, Eric, but that's not how the world works.
First of all, that would have required Mike Phelan to score a goal at Old Trafford. Santa can do a lot of things, but he's not a magician.
If anyone was likely to understand the assignment, though, it was Darren Ferguson. And by 'understand the assignment' we mean 'realise at the age of 20 that Santa and his dad are one and the same'. Apologies to any youngsters learning this for the first time, but you had to find out someday.
"Return to full fitness and play 90 minutes' football" was our Dazza's request. Ever the professional, his old man did give him a 90-minute runout in the league.... the following November. Gotta keep them on their toes.
