The entire point of dating is trying to understand if this person you don’t really know and you are compatible. One would think that online dating could be the key, as you can literally sort by the categories that might fit your criteria, however, as so often is the case in human relationships, people are perfectly willing to lie, either directly or by omission, in the hope of finding love.
A man asked the internet if he was wrong for walking out on a date when the woman revealed she had five kids from three different men. We got in touch with the man who shared the story via private message and he was kind enough to provide some more details.
To avoid wasting anyone’s time, it’s important to get some details out on a first date
Image credits: guyswhoshoot/Envato (not the actual photo)
AITAH for walking out on my date as soon as she told me she had 5 kids from 3 different fathers?
“I was on a first date with a woman who said she was 32 that I met on an online dating site.
I met her at the restaurant and the first thing that I noticed was she looked very little like in her pictures. I wouldn’t call it a catfish but she did wonders with her angles choices and usages of filters to present herself as best as possible in her profile. The deception instantly turned me off but I decided to proceed with the date anyways.
After our drinks arrive but before our food arrives while, getting to know each other she tells me she has 5 kids!
I know from our brief online interaction that she has never been married so I pretty bluntly ask if they all have the same father and she says no. She doesn’t say how many baby Daddy’s she has unprompted so I bluntly ask ‘with how many men’ and she seemed embarrassed to answer then says 3.
My response was ‘wow’ and we both sat there in silence for about 30 seconds as I desperately try to not burst out into laughter. I’m not sure why I found the situation so funny maybe it was a nervous tick.
I tell her ‘I don’t see this going anywhere’, leave enough money on the table for my drink and the food I ordered and walk out without any further conversation.
I wanted to say you should disclose you have 5 kids with 3 different men on your profile to prevent from wasting people’s time but I didn’t want to add insult to injury knowing I was about to walk out of and I suppose I could have asked before meeting her.”
Credits: somewhatnicefly
Image credits: vadymvdrobot/Envato (not the actual photo)
Many commenters had strong opinions on this story
First date stories are a pretty common source of drama, as not all personalities click immediately. Bored Panda got in touch with the man who posed the question online and he was kind enough to answer some of our questions. Naturally, given just how popular the story became, we wanted to know how he felt. “My post sits right now at 10.7 million views which is crazy to me. I think it is a very polarizing post because it is easy to relate to both people in the story,” he shared.
“The most fascinating thing about the story is the double standard many people have. Had I been a woman and a man told me he had 5 kids from 3 different women, there is no doubt most of the people outraged would have the complete opposite reaction.” Many of the commenters, some examples of which can be found below, seemed to take more umbrage with his tone than anything else.
Image credits: Irina Demyanovskikh/Pexels (not the actual photo)
It’s worth noting that he himself posed the question on an online group dedicated to judging random strangers. “Calling him out” for being judgmental is a tad hypocritical, given the fact that the vast majority of comments in this group exist just to judge someone. After all, an online commenter has even less information then a person sitting across from someone else on a first date, yet netizens were perfectly happy to write long paragraphs on a subject they encountered second hand.
“5 kids from 3 partners is a bomb to drop on someone, this is something she without a doubt knows and why she doesn’t disclose that information if not asked. It’s lying by omission because she knows 99.9% of the kind of man she wants will not ask her out on a date if they know her situation.”
It’s important to perhaps try to imagine yourself in someone else’s shoes before having strong opinions
“Many of the comments are just flat out absurd and are fueled by nothing but emotion and the desire to not want to hold a woman accountable for her life choices when it comes to having children. One of my comments I used the term ‘loose with her womb’ to describe women who are irresponsible with their reproductive choices and people lost their s**t. It has like 1500 downvotes lol I edited it to call out all the people down voting it because had I described a man with 5 kids from 3 women that comment would for sure have positive karma.”
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov/Pexels (not the actual photo)
“My favorite comment was… “Single mom here. NTA. 5 with 3?? The stupidity required for that is going to automatically remove someone as an option for both men and women. She should at least have the 5 kids part on her profile so she doesn’t waste her time or others’ time,”” he shared with Bored Panda.
“It says everything that needs to be said with zero fat. In reality this date didn’t actually play out exactly like the story. I actually stayed about 20 minutes after finding out about the kids, ate my food, paid the entire tab, went home and never spoke to her again. The rest of the dinner was extremely awkward and I wrote the story how I wished I had handled it,” he added.
Netizens were divided on the whole situation
