When a couple is dividing their chores at home, the 50/50 split isn’t the only option. Other arrangements can work as well. The most important thing is that both people feel things are fair and are able to change the terms if they’re not.
But nurse and Reddit user LoveChild worries her husband might no longer be willing to do that. After a week of long shifts, she returned home to a pile of dishes, only to get a mix of teasing and complaints from him about what she hadn’t done.
This woman was having a rough time and asked her husband to step up and help her with chores
Image credits: Kübra Arslaner / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
But he refused, thinking she needs to handle everything herself
Image credits: rawpixel.com / freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: RedditsLoveChild
Women still do the majority of housework
Many more couples have similar issues. When researchers analyzed data from 19 studies, including over 70,000 individuals from around the world, they found that women spend about 3-6 hours per day caring for their families and homes, while men contribute just 0,5-2 hours.
But as we just read, this uneven distribution is a direct path to resentment.
“Consider two exchanges between romantic partners: They look into each other’s eyes, sharing intimacy and mutual understanding, or a glance instead expresses judgment and displeasure as now they achieve a shared understanding that one partner has let down the other,” authors of another study wrote.
Dr. Hannah Lawson, who has over a decade of experience in relationship counselling and behavioural psychology, said those who wash dishes together are often happier.
“When you share even small chores, you show each other that you are equals,” she said.
But if men want to feel good in their marriage, they must listen to their partner
“Think of it as a small daily ritual that pays you back with trust, respect, and a stronger emotional connection,” Dr. Lawson added.
To get couples started, she suggested breaking up the tasks, for example, alternating who washes and who dries the dishes, and making it more enjoyable with some music.
Treating it as a daily routine, rather than a punishment, really helps.
And as tempting as it may be, you need to avoid criticizing each other’s approach. Even if a guy looks like he’s never done it before, everyone has to start somewhere. And it beats watching the plates pile up.
People who read the woman’s story thought her husband no longer values her
