A man described as 'amazing' by his wife has died at the age of just 37 after what was initially believed to be a 'sinus infection' headache tragically turned out to be a symptom of a brain tumour.
Paul James spent 19 years with wife Karen after the pair met at Aberystwyth University. They had decided to go travelling after learning that the prospect of having children wasn't possible - and it was just before a trip to Venice in 2018 when he first experienced something untoward.
Karen, a biomedical scientist, told the Liverpool Echo: "The only sign was headaches, so we were back and forth to the doctors. He was fine - not fine, he had headaches, but he was still in work. We went to Venice and he still had the headaches and then, yeah, it all went downhill when we came back."
Although the headaches continued on their return to their home in Wales, Paul, who had a 'very strong pain threshold' dismissed the soreness and continued to go about his everyday life as normal.
Karen continued: "He was strong, he wasn't overweight, so we didn't think it was more serious. We just did the usual thing. At the time it wasn't going, I started to think, 'What's causing these headaches?', but I personally didn't think of a brain tumour."
One morning in April 2018, however, things took a dramatic turn for the worse when Paul collapsed at home and was rushed to A&E. He was soon diagnosed with butterfly glioblastoma - a rare tumour from which very few survive for more than two years, even after undergoing treatment.
The size of the growth was 6cm, meaning end of life care was the only option. Indeed, Karen's life was 'torn apart' just seven months later when Paul passed away shortly after his birthday. "One minute we were walking around like normal, and then next minute, the only way to describe it is like a bulldozer has just gone through your life," Karen said.
A period of 'blur' ensued for the widow, who subsequently had to 'deal with a mountain of paperwork', including registering Paul's death, planning his funeral and removing his name from utility bills.
In tribute Karen continued: "He was an amazing man. He was funny and very, very clever, so he could turn his hand to anything. He was an accountant - just before he got unwell, he'd passed his chartered exams. He was doing really well career-wise, and on the other hand, he was fantastic at DIY. He tiled our bathroom, he put in underfloor heating. He had so many good friends, he was a lot of people's best friend."
She went on to explain that just before he died she Googled 'how to cope when your husband dies young' because she 'didn't have a clue'. It was in that search she discovered Widowed and Young (WAY).
With more than 4,500 members across the UK, (WAY) is the only national charity for people aged under 50 when their partner died. The charity, which is marking National Grief Awareness Week from December 2 to 8, offers peer-to-peer support, social events like camping and picnics, and a helpline offering free counselling.
It also gives people practical support with all the admin Karen faced, and with accessing bereavement payments from the government, which Karen hadn't realised she was entitled to. Karen already had "a fantastic support network" of family and friends, but she needed a group of people who'd experienced that kind of loss themselves to feel properly understood. She found that in WAY.
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