Rosie Malone says she felt like nothing was ever going to be good enough in an emotional response to her Hockeyroos Olympic snub.
The 114-time capped forward was an eye-catching omission from Katrina Powell's 16-strong squad named for this month's Paris Games, not even included as one of three travelling emergencies.
Malone was among five players shortlisted for the world's player of the year award for the 2023 season.
But she scored just once in 15 Pro League games this season, the Hockeyroos struggling to find the net in a mixed campaign that saw them finish sixth.
Malone, 26, had been a staple of the side since her 2018 debut, scoring twice at the Tokyo Olympics and playing in two World Cups.
Powell said Malone's non-selection was purely performance-based, denying there was a cultural issue.
She argued the side picked was best equipped to end a medal drought that stretches back to their third gold at Sydney's 2000 Games.
Malone appealed against the decision to the National Sports Tribunal, who dismissed the case on Friday.
She then indicated an intent to elevate the matter to the Court of Arbitration for Sport before posting on social media on Tuesday.
"I saw a girl sitting there feeling like no matter what she did, what she achieved, what she gave back to sport and to the people around her, for some of them, nothing was ever going to be good enough," she wrote in a post accompanying a video interview she had conducted in May.
"I've kept my head down, worked hard and done everything my coaches asked me to do this year, even to the point of changing my natural game 'for the good of the team'."
"If someone is trying to change things about you, or the way you do things, and your instincts scream 'no' … trust your instincts.
"Have courage. Stay fearlessly authentic. And remember … the wind blows strongest at the top of the mountain."
Powell acknowledged the brutal nature of the omission and said on Monday Malone's appeal did not mean the end of her Test career.
"Despite what's happened, I really do wish my teammates every success at the Games," Malone said.
"I believe we can medal and I hope they have an amazing experience."
Her comments followed a social media post from all 19 Paris-bound Hockeyroos except reserve Aleisha Power on Monday.
It declared a commitment to upholding the values of the team and a belief they had fostered an environment of support to cope with the "highs and lows" of the sport.
