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Pedestrian.tv
Pedestrian.tv
Entertainment
Isabella Corbett

MAFS Fans Have Fucking Whiplash From The Human Embodiment Of A Car Crash That Is Jesse

Jesse Claire MAFS Car crash Internet Twitter Inc.
MAFS fans across the nation are praying for Claire
Jesse Don’t Tell The Bride John Aiken MAFS MAFS here

The post MAFS Fans Have Fucking Whiplash From The Human Embodiment Of A Car Crash That Is Jesse appeared first on PEDESTRIAN.TV .

, the poor lass who has unfortunately been paired with noted freak . Jesse is a marriage celebrant from Perth who decided to take up the job after attending a “boring” wedding. Call me a traditionalist but, you know, surely it’s better when weddings err on the side of caution? I’m not talking about beige Pinterest ceremonies, but there just shouldn’t be ludicrously whacky shit which you’d see on . Like, you shouldn’t exchange vows in a hot tub or pick a darts theme for the big day (both of which I have witnessed on that demonic show). Moving on! Jesse has been single for seven years, for reasons which became increasingly clear with every word that left his mouth. When asked if he had any icks, Jesse whipped out a prepared list which spanned across several pages. The internet found this ironic seeing as the man himself was a walking ick. Jesse’s list of icks included “star sign chicks”, talking and interrupting, pouting and girls who are “addicted” to their phones and use social media, among literally hundreds of other things. Twitter basically summed it up in one, which was that the bloke hates any woman who breathes. One of the experts, , described Jesse as “quirky”, which people thought was … a choice. We soon met Claire, an absolutely stunning woman who was LOUD and GREEK and FIERY because the producers of decided to weigh into that deeply terrible stereotype. Obviously, none of us want to perpetuate icky ethnic stereotypes. Pushing that aside and considering Claire’s straightforwardness, the internet was kinda praying that she’d crush Jesse like a bug. Folks on Twitter were literally like, “Babe, evacuate the dance floor, get out, run, hide, save yourself”. Mans was BAD. Unfortunately, the good people of Twitter were unable to go back in time and stop the nuptials of Jesse and Claire. Everything was … fine, I guess? They both realised their jaws click and Jesse kept banging on about how “ungodly hot” Claire was. Obviously, she’s beautiful, but he was talking about her in a really gross, objectifying way and it was vile. Then poor Claire, who was literally just being her normal, lovely self, revealed herself to be a “star sign chick” and even pulled a crystal out of her bra to show Jesse. The bloke started being SO. FUCKING. RUDE. The internet (and me, who was on the verge of tears) were not having it. And then as if Jesse couldn’t get worse, he told Claire to “shoosh”. To shoosh. Shoosh. The gall! The nerve! The disrespect! Obviously, the internet was fucking fuming. The episode ended with Jesse making Claire cry because the bastard made her feel like there was something wrong with her. If that angel’s confidence is knocked because of the absolute gronk that is Jesse, I will slash his tyres. If you want the lowdown on everything else that transpired tonight on , you can read our stunning recap .
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