Lovely, We’re Officially The Closest To The End Of The World That We’ve Ever Been

In news that should absolutely-not-panic-anyone-because-holy-shit-we’re-about-to-die, scientists have just revealed that we’re officially the closest to the end of the world that we’ve ever been before, which is just peachy news. The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists — essentially a group of international scientists that tell us how fucked we are on a scale of 1 to 10 — has officially set its Doomsday Clock at 90 seconds to midnight, the closest the clock has ever been to midnight (and global catastrophe) since it was established back in 1947.

“We are living in a time of unprecedented danger, and the Doomsday Clock time reflects that reality,” Rachel Bronson, the president and CEO of the Bulletin said.

“Ninety seconds to midnight is the closest the clock has ever been set to midnight, and it’s a decision our experts do not take lightly.”