Louise Thompson opened up about her birth traumas and the struggles she went through when it came to breastfeeding her son Leo.
The former Made In Chelsea star, 31, and her fiancé Ryan Libbey, also 31, welcomed their son in November after a complicated birth.
She came close to death during his birth and has been battling post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and other complications since.
The reality star has now taken to Instagram to share a few photos of her bottle feeding her son as she posed in the kitchen.
Louise captioned the post: "Trigger warning: birth trauma. For a while I was mindful about posting anything with Leo and a plastic bottle in it because I thought I would be judged.
"I remember when I first came home I told Ryan that he couldn’t post an insta story because it had a bottle in the back of shot. I was constantly on the look out for those ugly little things.
"Of course I’d prefer to display the all natural, wholesome, skin on skin kinda look… but that wasn’t a reality for me."
She went on to say that she didn't have a 'choice in the matter' and that she 'shouldn’t have put so much blame on myself for ‘not choosing, but choosing’ to bottle feed our son'.
"I think it’s important to highlight these sorts of experiences in an attempt to break down the stigma attached to bottle feeding and other challenges that new parents face. The truth is - there are lots of women who can’t breast feed and many of those women feel racked with guilt because of what society sees as the optimal option," Louise added.
"It’s funny I always hated the ‘breast is best’ label that was thrown around during the online NCT classes I did.
"Most lactation specialists take the general stance that you should ‘keep going, you can do it’ because they think many mothers give up ‘too soon’ in their eyes."
She recalled Leo 'practically being thrown onto her' and being urged to breastfeed right after her first operation.
At the time, she was linked up to one of the many blood transfusions she had and was on a lot of medication. She said 'something about it just felt really gross.'
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"I was too ashamed to say no so I carried on," the mum added. "Then I experienced excruciating pain as my damaged uterus was contracting (and bleeding), but I was told to keep on going. The funny thing is I was actually really good at it. Leo was amazing at latching and I had lots of milk, and whilst it was nice for bonding something about it just didn’t feel right.
"Anyway it turns out I did know my body pretty well because the pain turned out to be serious and I ended up in intensive care where I lost my milk anyway. Sometimes people should accept that we know our own bodies best. There isn’t always a one size fits all policy when it comes to health (or raising a child for that matter). So you do you."
Louise has been open about the struggles she has faced since giving birth to Leo. One of them includes struggling to leave the house.
However, the reality star has been working hard to turn things around.
With husband-to-be Ryan by her side, she even got herself to the gym to work on her fitness.
The star is struggling with anxiety and shared it flares up in certain rooms in her home.
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