The Only Way is Essex star Kirk Norcross appeared on ITV lunch-time chat-show Loose Women to discuss the tragic loss of his father - fellow TOWIE legend and entrepreneur Mick Norcross, who committed suicide last year.
In an exclusive television interview on Thursday, January 20, 33-year-old Kirk, who was making his first on-screen appearance since his dad's death, expressed his intent to spread a vital message of mental health awareness and support the show’s 'Stand by your Men' campaign, which encourages other men to speak out if they are struggling.
"It has been the quickest year ever and the slowest year ever. It’s so hard to explain. I’ve got a bit of a mental block. I can’t remember my dad being here, but I can like a dream," he said.
"I can talk about it so freely and I shouldn’t be able to, but maybe this is how I grieve though."
Loose Woman Denise Welch described his father as an extremely sociable man when she'd met him in the past. Kirk smiled: "Yes, that’s how my dad was, he was a host. He wanted to make everyone smile around him, if everyone around him was happy, he was happy.
"That’s how I think lockdown’s really affected people that excel at people being around them."
Mick Norcross was diabetic and was shielding during lockdown for 12 weeks, meaning his family could only communicate with him through his window.
Nadia Sawalha expressed her condolences, claiming she could imagine he was faced with significant sadness if alone during those periods of time.
Kirk, who was added as a cast member to the reality series back in 2010, agreed, "100%. I believe your mind, if you’re on your own, is the worst place to be in. I really can’t stress to people - you’ve got to let people know how you feel. You let people know when you’re happy, why not let them know when you’re sad?"
When asked why he thought his father chose not to open up about his mental health concerns, he added: "He is old school. He was a docker, he worked in the docks in the '60s and '70s and I believe that era in men, I don’t know if [they think] it’s a weakness. It’s not, you know.
"If my mate comes and says, ‘I’m struggling’, do you know how strong I think that person is?".
Kirk disclosed that he saw his dad the morning that he chose to take his own life.
"I live next to my father," he explained. "I was with him the night before. That morning, I was having my breakfast, and he did what he usually did, which was take a bit off my plate. And he was fine. He actually gave me his next business strategy and I was like, 'Brilliant, if that’s what you want to do.' That afternoon he killed himself."
He added, "I was indoors, having my lunch and I got a call from my dad’s partner saying, 'I can’t find your dad.' And I don’t know why, even though I saw him that morning, I knew what had happened.
"We knew he was in the house, he’d locked himself in the house and I smashed through the door. I found him… I gave him CPR, I tried my best. I knew he was gone though, I knew the minute I saw him."
Presenter Charlene White then asked what the moment that he discovered his father's body was like.
"It was surreal," he replied. "It was like my life ended but I had so much to do at the same time. What would my dad have done in that situation? Once I gave him CPR and I knew it was done, I just laid with my father and told him it’s time to rest."
On whether he’s had any help or counselling since his father passed, Kirk explained, "Not yet. I’ve had all my family around me. Dad had a really big estate, so we’re still selling his house. I got diagnosed with PTSD because I’ve had flashbacks of how I found my father.
"It’s like the war films… the flashbacks, I’ll be walking down the road and it’s like 'Bang' and it’s in my dreams. I ring my friends and say, 'I need to talk to you'."
He also revealed that he himself had attempted suicide many years prior.
"I didn’t think I had a purpose then. But now I've got to take a positive out of what I’ve seen happen and the carnage it’s caused and knowing that my dad had to do it, but no one has to do that. If you’ve ended a relationship, you can get another one, if you’ve lost all your money, you can get more money, if you’ve lost your job, you can get another job.
"Everyone watching this, you have survived 100% of the sad days, so why can’t you survive more of them?"
Kirk admitted that the reason for coming onto the ITV discussion-show was to make viewers aware of the signs of somebody struggling with their mental health.
"The signs, even though they were subtle, if people are watching, they may be able to get help.
"My dad would get up and have a shower, put clothes on, he was a presentable person… but during lockdown he just wore a tracksuit all day, but I thought that was just lockdown.
"My dad was PMA, positive mental attitude, that was my father and it all turned negative… I did say, 'Dad, this isn’t you, snap out of it'."
The reality star, who also admitted to currently being in recovery for drug problem, believes that the day his father passed away, he "turned onto a man".
"I’ve been working hard on myself," he disclosed. "I've got a jet-washing business… I love what I do with a passion.
"It’s been hard. I’m a recovering drug addict and I’m not ashamed to say. I did relapse when my father died, the day after, it was just to numb my pain but I’m a couple of days away from nine months sober."
He now emphasises the importance of men speaking out about the well-being struggles.
"I don’t want anyone else to go through what my dad had to do and what we had to go through as a family. Just reach out, it doesn’t make you any less of a man to tell people you’re struggling."
The TOWIE star has since received significant support and praise online for his bravery speaking on his experience on television.
Twitter user @Mikkb123 wrote: "My heart bleeds for Kirk Norcross. No one should go through what he has, and may god give him the strength to achieve his goals. Go Kirk!"
@VickEbdon added: "In bits after watching Kirk Norcross talk about his dad Mick’s death a year ago on #LooseWomen. What incredible braveness & strength to share his story live & such an important message. Going forward mental health during/post pandemic NEEDS a much higher priority."
Another viewer, @RayRay_1283 tweeted: "Nothing but admiration for @kirk_official interview! How brave and such wise words. People don’t kill themselves to end their life, they do it to end their pain and it’s a sad reality that all types of pain can be managed, including emotional."
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