PEDESTRIAN.TV has teamed up with Lipton Ice Tea so you can take a well-deserved break from work.
You know corporate jargon has gotten to you when you start using it in your personal life. I remember telling my friend in the group chat to “take this offline” when she had some piping hot tea and then had to sit there for a minute and wonder who I’d become.
Someone needs to start a corporate jargon bingo game because let’s be honest — we’d be rich by now. Oh wait — there already is. Lipton Ice Tea is giving away five trips across the world worth almost $50,000 to whoever enters the most corporate buzzwords. I’m glad the worst part of work is being turned into the best ever adventures — take that boss.
Keep reading to find out how you can turn your corporate blues into a holiday.
How to win one of five breath taking holidays
To go in the running, all you have to do is submit (call out) corporate jargon on Lipton Ice Tea’s Jargon Junket website. You’ll be able to send through both recordings and screenshots, so keep an ear/ eye out in your meetings and on messages.
Over 100 keywords will earn you entries. It’s crazy how much corporate jargon is thrown around on a daily basis once you start counting.
Make sure to log as many phrases as possible for the highest chance of winning — so your work enemy doesn’t win instead.
.All your flights, accommodation, and activities will be covered for you and a plus-one, so all you’ll have to worry about is picking dates for annual leave.
The comp ends when the clock strikes 5pm on December 18, and the winners will know by December 19, at 10 am AEDT. All your flights, accommodation, and activities will be covered for you and a plus-one, so all you’ll have to worry about is picking dates for annual leave.
T&Cs apply, find out more here.
Corporate catchphrases to look out for and where you’ll be going
Lipton Ice Tea could send you to one of five amazing locations if you capture these commonly used keyword phrases, plus many more. The more entries you have, the more likely you are to win — good luck!
1. ‘Touch base’: Everest Base Camp
Corporate translation: Have you done the thing that I dumped on you at the last minute yet??
@countingcountries Come with me to Everest Base Camp #everest #mteverest #nepal #everestbasecamp #trek ♬ Write This Down (Instrumental) – SoulChef
You and a mate could be trekking to Everest’s Base Camp. Make sure to turn off your emails so Karen can’t ‘touch base’ with you over fifteen days.
You’ll be too busy enjoying your trip worth $17,500 (!!), from taking in the views of the Himalayas to acclimatising with sherpas. Plus, don’t think you can climb all the way to base camp without taking a selfie in front of the best views. How else will people know you’re better than them on social media? A little birdy told me that you’ll also be getting $4,000 (!!) that you can use for spending money.
2. ‘Move the needle’: Japan — tattoo museum
Corporate translation: Thanks for moving us forward since I certainly wasn’t going to do it, but I’ll still take credit.
@lacarmina Tattoos 🤝 Robotos! We had such fun at the Horiyoshi III and Hajime Sorayama "Lone Wolf Exhibition" in Shibuya — featuring the rebellious works of #horiyoshi3 (Japanese #irezumi tattoo master) and #hajimesorayama ♬ Spacer – Sheila
Okay, out of all the corporate jargon, I like to hear ‘move the needle’ the most. If you helped move projects forward and put up with corporate jargon, you certainly deserve to go to Japan with your partner / best mate/ sibling. (Helps soften the blow when Jake from project management takes credit for all your hard work and late nights.)
You’ll be relaxing at a four-star accommodation in Tokyo for four nights, while your team swiftly realises nothing gets done without you. But talking about moving needles, you’ll get to check out the famous Horiyoshi III Tattoo Museum.
3. ‘Looped in’: Brisbane — fighter pilot experience
Corporate translation: I don’t trust you to do anything without me, so I will micromanage you until you quit.
OR: Add me in so I can fight for you because the other person is taking the piss. (Someone pass me the popcorn.)
‘Looped in’ has two meanings: either your manager doesn’t trust you, or they are on your side. It’s either the worst or best feeling; there’s no in-between.
Luckily, a fighter pilot experience in Brisbane will have you forgetting about the loops and work slang in no time. That’s right, you’ll experience first-hand the thrill of flying in a P-51 Mustang. Your pilot will take you on a high-speed attack run across Moreton Bay, swinging into barrel rolls and swingovers and finishing off with a classic fighter ‘buzz and break’ maneuver. Once you’ve come down from the high of feeling like you’re in Top Gun, collapse at your four-star accommodation for two nights.
4. ‘Low hanging fruit’: Daintree — tropical fruit tour
Corporate translation: Management is breathing down my neck, and we need a win before we get fired in the next round of layoffs.
Now THIS low hanging fruit I can get behind. Credit: Cape Trib Farm.
This phrase usually comes up when the business is facing down layoffs, so they’re looking at short-term wins, not long-term goals. So, if the higher-ups want to play like that and use terminology to cover shady stuff up, you might as well take a break.
Enjoy the fruits of your hard work for three nights at Cape Trib Farm, a cosy farm stay that will help you forget about your work worries over three nights. Indulge in seasonal and exotic fruits while you tour around the orchard. I’d rather be there than at a desk right now, that’s for sure.
5. ‘Ducks in a row’: Melbourne – duck tasting banquet
Corporate translation: Please be organised for once so I don’t have to cover for you.
@haveyouevereatenat Experience the flavorful fusion of traditional Cantonese cuisine and modern culinary techniques at the renowned Flower Drum Restaurant! ❤️ Double Tap if you'd like to visit Flower Drum! 🔛 Turn on Post Notifications to see new content. ✔️ Follow to discover more of Melbourne's finest restaurants! . . . . . . . . . . #cantonesecuisine #flowerdrumrestaurant #melbourne #melbournefoodie #melbournefoods #melbourneeats #restaurant #melbournerestaurant #foodjourney #foodlovers #foodscene #tastebuds #diningexperience #australia #foodie #dishes #culinary #italianwines #melbournefood #melbournelife #seasonalfood #topfoodmelbourne #melbournefoodblog #cuisine #seasonalwines #desserts #melbournedesserts #finedining #luxurydining #brunch #foodstagram #foodporn #flowerdrum #chinesecuisine #fyp #trendingvideo #trending ♬ original sound – Have You Ever Eaten At?
To the people that say ‘ducks in a row’, do you know how hard that is to do?? The ducks are chaos. Also, they bite. I will also bite if you keep on using corporate jargon.
However, it’s nothing wining and dining in Melbourne won’t fix at an Asian or French inspired cooking class of your choice. Indulge in Flower Drum’s signature banquette with six courses, paired with wine, of course. Once you’re in a food coma, toddle over to your four-star accommodation for four nights. I can feel the fluffy robes from here.
@saraisthreads Quiet vacationing = great for mental health. 😉 #fyp #work #working #corporate #corporatelife #corporatetiktok #corporateamerica #corporatehumor #office #officelife #manager #managersbelike #career #quietquit #actyourwage #skit #funny #sketch #quietquitting #veronica #barista #baristalife #baristaproblems #baristatok #customer #customers #hosted #disneycruiseline ♬ original sound – Sarai Marie
So what are you waiting for? Turn your corporate hell into a well-earned vacay. It’s what you deserve.
Even if you don’t win, at least you’ll feel better calling out all the tomfoolery that is corporate lingo. I’m talking to you, ‘Let’s circle back’.
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