If football is theatre, the World Cup has been staged with all the subtlety of opera at La Scala with Castafiore singing a month-long aria. Argentina, once the sentimental darling of ‘neutral’ Indians—an oxymoron if there was one—has emerged as the villain of the piece in some hoity-toity conspiracy theory circles.
And at the centre of the drama playing soft-mannered villain is Lionel Messi, the boy-genius turned dark lord, cast as Darth Vader in blue-and-white. Hovering above him, in the director’s chair, is Fifa president Gianni Infantino, gleefully reprising Emperor Palpatine. Together, in this footballing X Files universe they preside over a galaxy where the Force is less about destiny and more about television ratings, and ensuring Argentina reached the final by hook or by crook or by fluke.
