Being small of stature, Derek Malcolm began his sporting life at Eton – a school he hated – as a cox on the river, an activity that he also hated. But he soon escaped being a “Wet-Bob” when his coach instructed him to just keep the crew together, adding: “Don’t worry if I fall off my bike because they are so slow that I’ll soon catch up.” Derek and the stroke man set a towpath trap that parted coach from bike, and the crew stormed away in their best ever row. Derek got the blame and was punished by dispatch to playing squash as a “Dry-Bob”.
His early career as a jockey continued as the Guardian’s office bookie. He once based his tips for the Grand National runners on character assassinations of senior editorial staff.
