Had a man written such crass generalisations about women as Caitlin Moran did about men, then it would never have been printed in this newspaper (Caitlin Moran: what’s gone wrong for men – and the thing that can fix them, 1 July). Throughout my life, men have always shared problems with me. Only recently, one flew all the way from Sweden to the Netherlands just to help me come to terms with fatherhood, and even in my late teens one school friend shared his problems with me.
Gaby Hinsliff did an excellent job of showing how wrong Caitlin Moran was (No, Caitlin Moran: men do talk about their feelings – and birthday parties, and plaits, 7 July). Her piece was well argued and founded in fact. In short, it was better than I could have managed.
Martin Greineder
Amsterdam, The Netherlands
• I am a 57-year-old, hairy-arsed steelworker with nearly 40 years under my belt and, as Gaby Hinsliff correctly points out, things have definitely changed over the last 10 to 15 years or so. We older ones frequently open up in discussions about feelings at work, good or bad, and it is bringing real benefits to our workforce, as the younger ones often join in. It just takes a few brave individuals to actually say what they are thinking and out it comes: we are sharing thoughts that would previously have never seen the light of day.
Personally, I have come through a few of life’s trials and now I find myself chatting to younger colleagues going through similar things and they definitely seem to appreciate it. The number requiring intervention or sick leave for such issues has reduced, in my opinion.
I firmly believe that education and social environment play significant roles in mental health and we must continue to fight for improvements in both, but just talking is making a difference, or it seems to be here, anyway.
Robert Pearson
Scunthorpe, Lincolnshire
• Reading Gaby Hinsliff in praise of men, my first thought was “at last, advocacy for equality for men”. It is, of course, a stain on humanity that women still do not have equality with men, even in so-called enlightened western democracies, where they are slowly getting nearer to achieving that most basic human right. It is disgracefully true that many men still fight to deny women equality.
But Gaby Hinsliff has highlighted that men and women experience the same emotions, worries and fears. Obviously, equality that allows men to openly show their emotions is small beer compared with the basic equality that women continue to fight for, but perhaps acknowledging that men feel emotions just as women do will, in some small way, assist the quest for equal rights.
John Robinson
Lichfield, Staffordshire
• Gaby Hinsliff may take comfort about men talking. I talk to strangers everywhere: in the coffee bar; on the bus; on canalside seats. Opening up to people, usually with a wisecrack – such as greeting a baby in a pram with, “Ah! A new citizen” – grants permission for them to reciprocate.
Prof Ken Baldry
London
• Prejudice and sanctimony are the enemies of openness and honesty. So if Gaby Hinsliff wants to hear from men about their emotional literacy, she should ask with a more emotionally literate word than “mansplanation”. It left me feeling depressed and “matronised”.
Paul McLintic
Harlow, Essex
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