Lauren Goodger says she cries every day when she sees her baby daughter's face, after a devastating few months for the star.
The TOWIE original, 35, told her baby girl, Larose, that she's "so sorry you have been let down", and said: "Mummy got you always and forever," in a candid post on her Instagram Story.
Lauren's second daughter Lorena passed away shortly after she was born, leaving the TV star broken in July.
Her boyfriend Charles Drury was arrested following an alleged assault on Lauren, on the night of their baby's funeral in August.
Charles, who is father to both Larose, one, and Lorena, has categorically denied the alleged attack, saying: "There’s a completely different side to stuff."
Lauren then had to try and cope with her ex-boyfriend Jake McLean lost his life when his car plunged 70ft off a cliff in Turkey in July.
The couple dated from 2012 to 2016, and had reportedly got back together two years ago for a short while.
Lauren has spoken openly about how she is coping after losing Lorena, saying earlier that she is struggling with her grief.
In a post on her Instagram Story, Lauren shared a photo of her hand holding Larose's tiny one, and wrote in all caps: "You are my only and my everything..
"I am so sorry you have been let down I'll explain when your older.. Mummy got you always and forever & I'm protecting you from the bad people I love you so much..
"I cry everyday when I see your little face every morning and every night and you look around and it's just always Mummy.." the media personality wrote, with a crying face emoji at the end of the sentence.
Lauren continued: "I am so sorry I have no words it's like a bad dream that's turned into a nightmare we don't deserve this.
"I'm so so sorry but you are so loved and I'll never leave you I'd live in a shed to make sure I had you close Larose Goodger."
The reality TV veteran finished the emotional post with a white love heart.
Lauren vowed to be strong for her daughter after starting a fitness regime, in another honest Instagram post on Sunday.
She wrote: "I've been through a lot lately and still have my hard days or nights I wake up crying etc.
"But I am strong and I have a little princess who I need to show how to be kind, strong, and an independent woman etc."
She added: "I've had two babies back to back and my body I feel I hated, I wasn't me. I lost myself completely.
"I've lost some weight now (baby weight) and I've just gone back to the gym (today) so I've started a new page @laurengoodgerbodyx.
"I'm not a nutritionist, I'm not a PT, everything I show is my own. Things I will show... my cooking, my training and my body and I am also not selling nothing. It's just for fun."
