Lauren Goodger has shared her heartbreak as her body is still healing following the birth of her daughter Lorena, who tragically passed away earlier this month.
Lauren, 35, announced earlier this month that her and her parter Charles Drury's newborn daughter Lorena passed away shortly after she was born.
Former The Only Way Is Essex star Lauren, who has demanded an post-mortem on her daughter, revealed that 10 doctors had fought to save the newborn when they couldn't find a heartbeat.
Speaking in a candid interview two weeks after the harrowing ordeal, Lauren has revealed that she feels like her daughter is "still there" as her bump "isn't shifting".
Lauren, who's partner Charles screamed "save my baby" amid the harrowing ordeal, added how her "unsettled" body feels like she is "missing a newborn".
She told new! magazine: "It shouldn’t happen. It breaks my heart that I won’t see her grow up."
Lauren continued: "I'm healing. I’m still bleeding – I feel like I’ve been run over.
"I'm not getting anywhere by blaming myself. I have to try and move forwards and accept it. First I need to understand it. She was just perfect."
Heartbroken Lauren also revealed she isn't ready to consider trying for another baby and wouldn't opt for a vaginal birth again – and would instead have a caesarean section.
She had planned to have a home birth led by her midwife Tamzin following a "textbook pregnancy ", but was taken into hospital when her midwife struggled to find a heartbeat.
An ambulance was then called and Lauren was taken Queen's Hospital in Romford, Essex.
Lauren recalled: "I was outside the hospital screaming and her head was coming out. You couldn’t write it – it was the most traumatic experience I’ve ever been through in my life."
She was then taken into the hospital and she gave birth to her daughter Lorena two hours after her contractions began. But, Lauren knew something was wrong when there was no cry or movement and doctors rushed into the room.
Doctors were unable to save the tot, who had the cord wrapped around her neck with "two big knots in it" as well.
Following Lorena's tragic death, Lauren is now seeking a postmortem to understand what happened.
She told The Sun: "They think her oxygen may have been restricted because she had two knots in her cord but normally babies can still get enough oxygen despite this.
"This is why I am having an autopsy. I need to understand medically how she died for my own sanity.
"Lorena should be here with me. I held her and she looked like she was sleeping. I thought she would wake up."
Lauren later announced the tragic news of her daughter's passing on her Instagram. She wrote in a tribute: "Lorena R.I.P 08.07.22 she was the most beautiful healthy baby I’ve ever seen just like her sister @babylarose.x … words can’t describe as a mother losing your baby that I carried for all these months perfectly and gave birth too for my angel to be taken from me.
"there was no pregnancy or labour complications and she was fine & healthy but I am not going into detail right now just know that there was nothing wrong with her or myself she was perfect I can’t understand it she is so so beautiful Larose twin so similar.. I am broken".
*If you have been affected by this story, advice and support can be found at childbereavementuk.org or you can call them on 0800 02 888 40.
