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The Guardian - AU
The Guardian - AU
Lifestyle
Eleanor Gordon-Smith

Lately I’ve become less engaged with the world. How do I find something to be interested in?

Painting: Allegory of Vanity by Antonio de Pereda.
‘Feeling like you’re reacting to stuff as an individual, instead of just passively taking it in, is the beginning of interest,’ writes Eleanor Gordon-Smith. Painting: Allegory of Vanity by Antonio de Pereda. Photograph: incamerastock/Alamy

I used to be really interested in the world. I’d read lots of news, books from authors around the world and had opinions about world events. I work for a charity that works globally too. But lately I’ve become less engaged. I don’t know if it’s due to having children, fatigue or the harshness of the world, but I feel unplugged from it all and not interested. Equally I’m not interested in anything else as an alternative. I feel my world becoming smaller. I spend hours scrolling Instagram too. How can I find “something” to be interested in again?

Eleanor says: When I was in my early teens my dad was trying to explain depression to me because a dear friend had it and I thought she was making a mistake. I interrupted him to pause and savour a bite of sourdough toast with cream cheese. He pointed to that exact moment – there – that’s what your friend can’t feel right now.

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