WHERE does Douglas Alexander disappear to after elections? Why does Michael Marra always look like he's just woken up? And what exactly happens at a Labour Party "Scots Night"?
These are just some of the many mysteries in UK politics, and Liverpool provided some answers on Labour's Scots Night.
Apparently, Labour's annual Scottish showcase involved gathering party delegates together for an evening dedicated to Scotland.
Former Scottish Labour leader Anas Sarwar was in attendance, no doubt regaling tall tales of his travels since taking a ministerial position in Andy Burnham's government via the House of Lords.
SNP MSP and national secretary Alex Kerr was less than impressed, saying the event summed up Westminster's attitude towards Scotland.
Looking at reports from the night, it's difficult to argue. Speakers were allegedly talked over by delegates more interested in awaiting the appearance of a Prime Minister who never actually turned up.
Nothing quite captures Scotland's place in the Union like being unable to hear the Scottish speakers because everyone is craning their neck to see whether someone from London is about to enter the room.
We suspect the organisers tried their best. Perhaps there was tartan. Perhaps there were shortbread and teacakes. Perhaps somebody said "aye" or "slàinte mhath" with such enthusiasm that they pulled a muscle.
But the very existence of a dedicated "Scots Night" raises questions.
Perhaps next year Labour can expand the concept.
A Scots Breakfast discussing Grangemouth? A Scots Lunch considering Scotland's right to decide its own future? A Scots Afternoon thinking about why so many Scots keep voting for parties that want less Westminster?
Then again, that might require delegates to stop talking long enough to hear the speakers. And that, by the sound of things, was the biggest challenge of all.
