Kirk Norcross has given his first TV interview since his father tragically took his own life last year.
Mick Norcross was found dead in January last year aged 57, with an inquest ruling his death was a suicide.
Sitting down with the Loose Women panellists, Kirk said he has suffered from depression and post-traumatic stress disorder after his dad's death, experiencing flashbacks of the moment he found his father.
With the anniversary of his death tomorrow, Kirk said it has been “the quickest year and the slowest year ever”.
He said he still doesn’t think he has come to terms with his dad’s death, noting that lockdown “really affected” his diabetic dad, who was forced to shield from the coronavirus.
Kirk said: “I can't stress to people - you've got to tell people how you feel. He was old school. He worked in the docks in the 60s and 70s and I believe that era in men, [they think] it’s a weakness.
“I live next to my father, I was with him the night before. That morning, I was having my breakfast, and he did what he usually did, which was take a bit off my plate. And he was fine. He actually gave me his next business strategy and I was like, ‘Brilliant, if that’s what you want to do.’ That afternoon he killed himself.”
“I was indoors, having my lunch and I got a call from my dad’s partner saying, ‘I can’t find your dad.’ And I don’t know why, even though I saw him that morning, I knew what had happened.
“We knew he was in the house, he’d locked himself in the house. I knew he was gone though, I knew the minute I saw him.”
Kirk struggled through tears as he described smashing the door of his father’s house and giving him CPR inside.
Kirk said: “It was surreal. It was like my life ended but I had so much to do at the same time. What would my dad have done in that situation? Once I gave him CPR and I knew it was done, I just laid with my father and told him it’s time to rest.”
Kirk has described his dad Mick - who had four children - as his “best friend” and hero and has urged others to speak out if they need support.
Kirk says he is now determined to ensure others don’t suffer in silence like his dad tragically did.
Kirk opened up about his own suicide attempt years ago, saying: "I didn’t think I had a purpose then.”
Kirk said: “I felt I was, but now I've got to take a positive out of what I’ve seen happen and the carnage it’s caused and knowing that my dad had to do it, but no one has to do that. If you’ve ended a relationship, you can get another one, if you’ve lost all your money, you can get more money, if you’ve lost your job, you can get another job.”
He added, “Everyone watching this, you have survived 100 per cent of the sad days, so why can’t you survive more of them?"
Kirk is a recovering drug addict, something which he said he is not "ashamed" to admit and said he relapsed the day after his father died, but is now a couple of days away from being nine months sober.
Kirk said: “I think he’d tell me I’ve finally become a man. I’m doing it for him and everyone else. I don’t want anyone else to go through what my dad had to do and what we had to go through as a family…. Just reach out, it doesn’t make you any less of a man to tell people you’re struggling.”
Lorraine airs weekdays at 9am on ITV
