Late-night hosts observed the fifth anniversary of the January 6 insurrection and recapped Venezuelan president Nicolás Maduro’s first day in a US court.
Jimmy Kimmel
Jimmy Kimmel opened his monologue on Tuesday, 6 January, with an acknowledgment of the date: “Five years ago today, after losing what eventually judges from both sides in cities all around the country unanimously declared to be a free and fair election, Donald Trump tried to overthrow our government in a pathetic and illegal attempt to stay in the White House,” he said. “And there’s no other way to put it. You cannot look at the facts objectively and come to any conclusion other than that.
“He tried to force the vice-president to claim voter fraud and refuse to certify Joe Biden’s victory, which even his own vice-president refused to do,” he continued. “And even when Mike Pence chose the constitution over his running mate, Trump got his supporters all riled up and sent them to the Capitol, where they staged a violent, deadly riot which he enjoyed from the comfort of his office for hours on television, until someone in his circle begged and pleaded with him to half-heartedly call them off.
“It was a selfish, disgraceful, tyrannical and dangerous act,” he emphasized. “And I think it’s very important that we do not forget that, that we don’t give in to this revisionist history.
“Five years ago, we saw proof live in front of our eyes that the American president is as un-American as they come.”
Nevertheless, the White House officially launched a page on their website on Tuesday in which they claimed it was actually “Democrats who staged the real insurrection by certifying a fraud-ridden election”.
“They actually wrote this,” Kimmel mused. “And they go on to praise Trump for pardoning all the ‘patriotic trespassers’ and ‘peaceful protesters.’”
He went on to note that a plaque commissioned for the law enforcement officers who defended the Capitol that day never made it to the building, because Speaker Mike Johnson – “the Squeaker of the House”, as Kimmel called him – refused to hang it. “Mike Pence, they were OK with hanging. The plaque, no,” Kimmel quipped. “And not only didn’t they put the plaque up, it is now missing. It’s nowhere to be found.”
Stephen Colbert
The date of January 6 is “a dark day in our nation’s history, and a permanent stain on the legacy of Donald Trump, because it is Eric Trump’s birthday”, joked Stephen Colbert on the Late Show. “You can’t wash that out! Also, the failed coup.”
“Ever since then, Trump has been desperate to make us forget he had a failed coup,” he continued. “He has instead repeatedly called Jan 6, 2021 a ‘day of love’. It is a bit of a weird description, but remember – Trump has a weird concept of love. This is what he considers a birthday card,” he added before a photo of Trump’s infamous card, with the sketched drawing of a naked woman, for Jeffrey Epstein.
Colbert then turned his attention to Venezuela, and Trump’s decision not to hand over the reins of power to exiled opposition leader María Corina Machado, reportedly because he remains upset that she won the Nobel Peace prize over him. (The Nobel committee, of course, never confirmed that Trump was in the running.) Asked by Sean Hannity if she had offered to give the Nobel Peace prize to Trump, Machado appeared conciliatory: “It hasn’t happened yet,” she said, “but I would certainly love to be able to personally tell him … that this is a prize of the Venezuelan people, certainly gone to give to him, to share it with him.”
“Ooh, rookie move,” Colbert responded. “I know you’re trying to kiss his ass, but you lost him the moment you used to word share. Or as he calls it, the c-word.”
Seth Meyers
On Late Night, Seth Meyers opened with but one of many Trump posts to Truth Social in recent days: “The USA markets just hit another ALL TIME HIGH – ALL OF THEM!!! THANK YOU MISTER TARIFF!!!”
“Oh no … does he think the tariffs are people?” Meyers joked before imagining Trump’s logic:“I just had dinner with Dave and Julie Tariff, very nice, they paid for everything.”
In a new interview, Trump said that Venezuela would not have new elections in the next 30 days because “we have to fix the country first”.
Meyers quipped: “I don’t know, I think it’s going to take longer than 30 days to build them a new ballroom.”
According to a new poll, 44% of Republicans would support amending the constitution to allow Trump to seek a third term, “while the other 56% said ‘he’s only on his second term?!’” Meyers joked.
In other Trump news, while speaking to House Republicans on Tuesday, the president said that he wouldn’t say that he wants to cancel the 2028 elections because the “fake news” would call him a dictator. “Well, if you cancel the elections, it won’t be fake news,” said Meyers. “At that point, the dictionary will call you a dictator.”
Trump also told House Republicans that they had to win the midterms this year because if they didn’t, “they’ll find a reason to impeach me”.
“Of course, the challenge isn’t finding one, it’s picking one,” Meyers quipped.
The Daily Show
And on the Daily Show, Ronny Chieng remained stunned over the Trump administration’s surprise military intervention in Venezuela. “The world is still in shock over Donald Trump’s surprise DoorDash-ing of Nicolás Maduro to Brooklyn. And he didn’t even tip!” he joked.
“And I have to say, I did not see this Venezuela thing coming. And I read the news every day, so the lesson here is: reading is pointless.”
“But now Maduro will face justice in the best legal system in the world that we illegally kidnapped him to,” Chieng added. And at his first court appearance on Monday, a defiant Maduro greeted the courtroom in Spanish. “Smart legal strategy by Maduro,” Chieng said. “If he speaks Spanish, ICE might bust in and deport him back to Venezuela just out of habit.”
Maduro and his wife Cilia Flores both pleaded not guilty to charges that they worked together to traffic cocaine. “His wife was trafficking cocaine with him? I guess in other countries, first ladies have actual responsibilities,” Chieng quipped. “I bet Trump is jealous of their relationship. I mean, he must be like, ‘Melania, why can’t we ever do couples stuff like the Maduros?’”
