Late-night hosts talk suspected murderer Luigi Mangione’s status as an online folk hero, Donald Trump’s cabinet of billionaires and Kimberly Guilfoyle’s appointment as ambassador to Greece.
Jimmy Kimmel
Jimmy Kimmel took on the folk hero status of Luigi Mangione on Wednesday evening, after the suspected killer of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson and “America’s most unseemly new sex symbol” was arrested.
Mangione, 26, was caught after being recognized at a McDonald’s in Altoona, Pennsylvania, with a hash brown in hand. “They caught him brown-handed,” said Kimmel. “It’s so crazy to think that Donald Trump working the french-fry machine was only the second weirdest thing to happen at a McDonald’s in Pennsylvania this year.”
Mangione, who has been charged with second-degree murder and held in Altoona, now has a lawyer, “which means that we have the first new character in what is sure to be an ongoing crime drama”.
Altoona police said they have received threats from Mangione’s many fans – an outgrowth of longstanding anger with the US healthcare system – demanding his release. Kimmel tried to make sense of Mangione’s popularity. “I’ve been on TV just about nonstop for 29 years. This guy has been in the news since Monday,” he said. “He has fans threatening the police? Why do I feel like if I shot somebody, even my mother would be like ‘lock him up, teach him a lesson!’”
“It’s weird that he even has a lawyer,” he continued. “I mean, think about this. In this country, if you get sick or you’re severely disabled and your health insurer won’t cover it, you’re out of luck. But if you do something violent to protest that, here’s your free attorney!”
Seth Meyers
On Late Night, Seth Meyers checked in on Trump’s campaign promises following his first extensive interview since the election. “Trump claimed he won because he’s in touch with the needs of working people,” he explained, “and he’s following through by assembling a cabinet of regular, blue-collar Americans who understand what it’s like to struggle to make ends meet and – I’m just fucking with you, it’s like a shit-ton of billionaires.”
Numerous commentators are calling it the wealthiest cabinet in history, with more billionaires and centi-millionaires than any before it – and that’s not counting the world’s richest man, Elon Musk, as Trump’s top outside adviser. “I’m not surprised that Donald Trump is picking billionaires,” said Meyers. “I’m just surprised that if you are a billionaire, you would say yes to spending the next four years getting yelled at by a fake garbageman. All in exchange for a tax break that you’ll never even notice?”
Campaign promises aside, Meyers noted, the cabinet’s top priority is to cut taxes. “Now I know what you’re thinking: how does giving a $4tn tax cut to corporations and the wealthiest people in America bring down the cost of groceries? Well, it’s actually very simple, and I’ve mapped it all out here,” said Meyers while pulling out a whiteboard with a clear answer: “It doesn’t.”
Stephen Colbert
And on The Late Show, Stephen Colbert also discussed Mangione, who has been charged with second-degree murder but is not pleading guilty and is fighting extradition to New York. “Well, that makes sense, no one wants to be extradited to New York during the holidays,” Colbert joked. “You’ve got to wait in a two-hour line just to be cavity-searched at the M&M store.”
“We’re also learning allegedly more about his alleged motives”, after an independent journalist posted his alleged 262-word manifesto against the US healthcare system. “That’s not a manifesto, that’s a mini-festo,” said Colbert. “He could’ve just made it a Yelp review: American healthcare sucks, one star.’”
“People are so angry at America’s healthcare system that they’re treating him like a folk hero,” Colbert explained. “And before we go any further, I just want to say something that takes courage and I don’t care how many viewers this costs me: I believe murder is wrong.”
“Turns out that’s an unpopular opinion,” he added, “because suddenly Luigi Mangione merch is everywhere”, including T-shirts, hoodies, stickers and a “FREE LUIGI” doggie bandana.
“Y’all, knock it off!” Colbert advised. “Don’t make your dog wear murderer stuff. It’s Christmas! Make him wear the plush reindeer antlers that he hates.”
In other news, Trump appointed Guilfoyle, his son Donald Jr’s fiancee, as ambassador to Greece days after news broke that Donald Jr was now seeing a socialite named Bettina Anderson.
In his note announcing the appointment, Trump said: “Kimberly is perfectly suited to foster strong bilateral relations with Greece.”
Colbert quipped: “He’s not totally wrong there. Being engaged to Don Jr has given Guilfoyle a lot of experience with grease.”
