Late-night hosts looked at Donald Trump’s latest high-priced merchandise and the troubles facing the former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani and the current mayor, Eric Adams.
Jimmy Kimmel
On Jimmy Kimmel Live!, the host spoke about Hurricane Helene and how it might affect Trump’s property down in Miami. He joked that while he is monitoring the situation he is also “prepared to move on Helene like a bitch”.
He moved on to the former president selling “more Trump brand crap to sell to his lemmings” before playing a new commercial for Trump Watches, in which Trump claims that quality is important to him. “Almost as important as ripping you off,” Kimmel said.
The main watch costs $100,000. “The Biden economy is such a mess that people can’t afford apples but they can afford a $100,000 watch,” Kimmel said.
The ad expressed the importance of Trump time, to which Kimmel responded: “Trump time, by the way, is five to seven years or four with good behaviour.”
Trump’s wife, Melania, is also on the promo trail, selling her upcoming memoir in an interview on Fox News. “We now see Melania on the same schedule as we see Punxsutawney Phil,” Kimmel quipped.
He also added: “Rarely does Fox News allow a brunette to appear on television.”
He moved on to Rudy Giuliani, who has now been disbarred from practicing law in Washington DC after helping Trump try to steal the 2020 election. “Trump never gets in trouble for any of this stuff, everyone else does,” he said.
Kimmel added that “maybe it’s time to jump back into the mayor game, there might be an opening soon” before moving on to the current New York mayor, Eric Adams, who has been indicted on federal criminal charges.
While Democrats have suggested he step down, Kimmel said that “Republicans are urging him to run for governor of North Carolina”.
Stephen Colbert
On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert also spoke about the Adams charges for bribery, fraud and soliciting illegal foreign campaign donations.
Reportedly, Adams pressured the city’s fire commissioner to allow a Turkish skyscraper to be built in midtown as well as securing multiple valuable flight upgrades from Turkish Airlines. “Has Adams never heard of the Delta SkyMiles credit card?”
Adams had his phone seized and in “a totally not guilty move” he apparently forgot the password “and the face ID wouldn’t work because the phone now swears it never met him”.
Colbert also spoke about Giuliani being disbarred in DC, “to which Rudy responded: ‘I’ve been disbarred, but I can still go in this bar, right?’”
This week also saw a new boost for Kamala Harris with an ad from the Lincoln Project, narrated by Sam Elliott. In the video, he said it was time to “be a man and vote for a woman”.
Colbert replied, saying: “That is a powerful thing, I dig it,” and added that it’s “also one of the rare times the phrase ‘be a man’ is followed by a positive message”.
Seth Meyers
On Late Night, Seth Meyers started with Giuliani, “my favorite outer borough wombat” who was Trump’s “law goblin and personal Chia Pet”.
He said it’s “terrible news for Rudy if he even understands it” before making a similar joke to Colbert, claiming that he would say “Oh no, I can’t go to dis bar” after hearing the news.
At this rate, Meyers said, “the only place he’ll be allowed to practice law is on that giant great Pacific garbage island made of plastic bottles”.
He moved on to Adams and spoke about his controversial policies such as closing public libraries on Sundays while spending time focusing on “completely useless” police robots.
“I just really hope that when Adams was turning himself in, that’s who was greeting him at the station,” he said.
While Trump has claimed that New York gave him an unfair trial because he’s a Republican, Meyers believes that isn’t the case. “I think we can say they’re not gunning for Republicans,” he said.
This week also saw Harris do a policy-focused interview on MSNBC in which she was asked about her thoughts on Trump claiming he would be a protector of women if elected. “All you have to do in response to that question is say the words ‘Donald Trump’,” Meyers said.
