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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Politics
John Crace

Kemi Badenoch’s memory wipe and the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

Kemi Badenoch Donald Trump Memory Rick Edwards Sir Keir Starmer United States
Badenoch smiles in protective jacket as she sprays a wall
The key to everlasting happiness? Kemi Badenoch helps to clean graffiti off a wall in Herne Hill, south London. Photograph: Stefan Rousseau/PA

Please sit down. Loosen your clothing. Do not adjust your screen. Take several deep breaths. Close your eyes. Imagine yourself in your happy space. Your life might not be quite the same again.

Hard to believe, but Kemi Badenoch has had a psychological makeover. Don’t get me wrong: we’re not talking a complete personality change. There hasn’t been a miracle. A laying on of hands by Donald Trump (AKA Christ the Redeemer). Kemi is still unable to stop herself from saying the ridiculous. It’s more that her madness has been somewhat diminished. Made more user-friendly. It only really resurfaces at prime minister’s questions. For reasons that aren’t quite clear, Keir Starmer is triggering for her.

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