Tom Parker’s widow Kelsey has said she felt “guilty” because she couldn’t look after him while was giving birth to their son.
The Wanted star and his wife share two children – daughter Aurelia, three, and son Bodhi, who is about to turn two.
Their youngest was born shortly after Tom received his terminal brain cancer diagnosis in 2020 and he died in March this year aged just 33.
Speaking on Giovanna Fletcher ’s Happy Mum Happy Baby podcast, Kelsey says giving birth to Bodhi was “just awful” because it coincided with the time they discovered Tom was ill.
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Breaking down in tears as she relived what should have been a happy moment, Kelsey said: “Oh it was just awful, just awful.
“Tom was so emotional, but obviously Tom was emotional for a different reason this time – he was thinking how long will I have left with this baby. Oh God, that’s quite sad.”
The mum-of-two continued: “It was really hard and I remember him going to the toilet and the nurse being like ‘Is he OK?’
“And I was like he’s got he’s got a brain tumour, he’s just been diagnosed and he’s in treatment at the moment, that’s why.
“He was really thin as well and he had lost his hair and obviously this was just way too much for him.”
Kelsey said by that point the family had gone public with Tom’s diagnosis, but it didn’t make the pain they were going through any easier.
“Everything just seems like a blur, you push it so far to the back of your mind,” she explained.
“I’ll always have that guilt for Bodhi that he didn’t get the nice experience for all of it, not that he’s ever going to remember that.”
Giovanna cut in: “In many ways Bodhi is probably going to grow up just thankful that his dad was there.”
To which Kelsey replied: “Oh yeah, he’ll just be happy that his dad witnessed his birth, but I just felt sorry for Tom.
“Because Tom was in this place where he just wasn’t Tom anymore – the moment he got diagnosed, I lost Tom.”
Detailing the moment little Bodhi came into the world, Kelsey said he “actually flew out of me”.
But while she should have been feeling on top of the world after the birth of her baby boy all she felt was “guilt” that she couldn’t look after her husband.
“I just had this guilt – this out of body experience – that I couldn’t look after him [Tom] for half an hour,” she recalled.
“I’m giving birth to our baby and I shouldn’t feel like that, but I did.”
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