Late-night hosts talk Donald Trump’s re-election as president, Democratic infighting and a promotion mishap for the new Wicked movie.
The Daily Show
In his first monologue since Donald Trump won both the electoral college and the popular vote in the US presidential election, Jon Stewart returned to The Daily Show shellshocked. “It turns out the election was stolen by more people voting for Donald Trump,” he joked. “It’s quite a caper.
“It’s a delight to hear about why it happened from so many people who were so wrong about what was going to happen,” he added, referring to the rampant blame game among Democrats, as evidenced by several clips of pundits blaming the “far left”.
“I only have one problem with the woke theory,” Stewart said. “I just didn’t recall seeing any Democrats running on woke shit.
“And don’t forget about Kamala Harris. It’s not like she was exactly waving around her NPR tote bag,” Stewart said ahead of a clip of the vice-president saying: “I have a Glock.”
“They acted like Republicans for the last four months,” Stewart bemoaned. “They wore camo hats and went to Cheney family reunions. Do you know how dangerous it is to wear a hunting hat around Cheney?!
“Democrats were mostly running against an identity that was defined for them based on a couple of months of post-George Floyd, defund-the-police Instagram posts from four years ago,” he continued. “What happened was the country felt like government wasn’t working for them, and that the Democrats in particular were taking their hard-earned money and giving it to people who didn’t deserve it as much as them. So the Democrats got shellacked.
“I’m sure any robust examination of better policies is very welcome. But I just want to please assure people: this isn’t forever,” he concluded. “This is not the end. We have to regroup, and we have to continue to fight and continue to work day in and day out to create a better society for our children, for this world, for this country, that we know is possible. It’s possible.”
Seth Meyers
On Late Night, Seth Meyers looked into how “Democrats are doing what they do best: turning on each other”.
Many liberal politicians have expressed their opinion on what went wrong this election. Bernie Sanders, for one, said it was “no great surprise that a Democratic party which has abandoned working-class people would find that the working class has abandoned them”.
“Bernie’s argument basically boils down to this: voters want someone who has the vibe of an outsider, who can direct the voters’ anger against powerful people like billionaires and political elites,” said Meyers. “Otherwise, a racist demagogue will come along and fill the void by scapegoating vulnerable groups like migrants, which is exactly what Trump did.”
Meyers noted that Harris “did campaign on many pro-worker policies like raising the minimum wage, making it easier to unionize or taking on corporate price gouging. But now some Democrats are saying those policies may have been overshadowed by the decision to elevate Republicans like Liz Cheney and Dick Cheney.”
And some Democrats, such as the New York congressman Tom Suozzi, claim that the party is too beholden to the “far left” and have begun supporting Republican transphobic talking points.
“To anyone suggesting Democrats could win elections by throwing trans people under the bus, let me just say: fuck off,” said Meyers. “If you’re choosing this moment to scapegoat and demonize vulnerable people rather than aim your criticism at the powerful elites and moneyed interests who paved the way for the return of Trump and stand to benefit from his second term, you’re way off.”
Stephen Colbert
On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert opened with a humorous story, as Wicked-themed dolls from Mattel are being pulled from stores after the company mistakenly listed a porn site on the packaging for the movie souvenir. Instead of printing the website for the movie, WickedMovie.com, the packages cited a different website with more than 6,000 scenes of “wicked” porn.
Anyone who clicked on the offending link was directed to a page requiring users to be 18 years or older; those that clicked enter landed on a promotion page for the porn movie titled Kenzie Loves Girls 2. “I’m sure you have a lot of questions, but I’ll just tell you right off: no, you do not have to have seen Kenzie Loves Girls 1 to understand the plot of Kenzie Loves Girls 2,” Colbert joked.
Mattel issued a press release apologizing for the “unfortunate error” and promised “immediate action to remedy this”.
“Adding ‘for a handy link to our full press release, please go to handyfullrelease.com. And we did it again, didn’t we?’” Colbert joked.
In political news, Trump announced his new chief of staff, Susie Wiles, who was also his 2024 campaign manager. “So she was the one who put Trump in a garbageman costume and had him dance to Ave Maria, and it worked, and I don’t know what anything means anymore,” said Colbert.
Wiles “may not be the worst choice for this job – and not just because the worst choice was elected president”, Colbert added, because during the campaign, Wiles reportedly worked to keep particularly divisive and fringe conservative figures out of Trump’s orbit. “For instance, she lured Rudy Giuliani away from Trump using a bottle of cabernet dressed up as a sexy lady,” he joked.
Jimmy Kimmel
And in Los Angeles, Jimmy Kimmel looked ahead to the transition of power. According to the Presidential Transition Enhancement Act, the incoming president has to sign a pledge saying he will avoid conflicts of interest and other ethical concerns while he’s in office. “Which is hilarious,” said Kimmel. “It’s like asking a bear to sign something promising to protect the salmon.”
Trump’s team has missed multiple deadlines to sign this, dating back to September. “Of course, he’s being difficult about signing an ethics pledge because he’s not going to behave ethically,” said Kimmel. “This is the White House version of Charlie Brown trying to kick the football. The same thing happens over and over again.”
Trump actually signed the act into law, “so he’s breaking his own law, which is a bucket list item for sure”, said Kimmel.
Trump and his team still say they intend to sign the pledge, but Kimmel was skeptical. “Come on – we still haven’t seen his tax returns,” he said. “We’ve heard his penis described in excruciating detail, we still don’t know how many dependents he claims.”
