‘Jokes helped me salvage myself’: Kat Lister on turning the anger of grief into comedy

‘There are so many taboos here’: Kat Lister. Photograph: Sophia Spring/The Observer

I’m not wild about house parties and this one isn’t convincing me otherwise. It’s midnight on a Friday and I’m texting my best friend from a darkened corner beside the fridge. “Sometimes I worry that I’m damaged goods,” I type, referring to my recent foray into the world of dating as a 30-something widow. I watch the WhatsApp ellipsis flash on my screen.

“What, like a used toothbrush?” he shoots back.