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The Guardian - US
The Guardian - US
Entertainment
Guardian staff

Jimmy Kimmel on Ted Cruz: ‘What a sorry excuse for an American’

‘What could they have on Tucker Carlson? Did he once try to buy a fuel-efficient car?’ … Jimmy Kimmel
Jimmy Kimmel: ‘What could they have on Tucker Carlson? Did he once try to buy a fuel-efficient car?’ Photograph: YouTube

Jimmy Kimmel

On Jimmy Kimmel Live!, the host mentioned former first lady Melania Trump’s birthday, with People reporting that Trump would join her “if his schedule allows”. Kimmel noted that he was “very busy with the yelling and the golf” and that day had been sharing social media posts about his rape trial. “Such a romantic,” he added.

This week also saw news that Trump might skip the presidential debates as he doesn’t want to subject himself to Maga-hating anchors. “I bet this is gonna be like WrestleMania when he says he’s not gonna be there then in the middle of the debate he runs out on stage and hits Ron DeSantis over the head with a folding chair,” Kimmel joked.

Reports suggest that Fox News was keeping a file of dirt on Tucker Carlson and was prepared to release it if he goes after them post-firing. “What could they have on Tucker Carlson?” he speculated. “Did he once try to buy a fuel-efficient car? Does he have a collection of paintings that weren’t by Hitler?”

Kimmel said the dossier could just be “every episode of his show”.

This week also saw leaked footage of Ted Cruz talking to Fox News host Maria Bartiromo, detailing a plan to overturn the election in 2020 by creating a phony commission. “What a sorry excuse for an American,” Kimmel said, adding: “Next time you go to Cancún, stay in Cancún.”

He also joked: “The only thing funnier than Donald Trump going to jail for trying to steal the election is Ted Cruz going to jail for trying to steal the election for Donald Trump.”

Seth Meyers

On Late Night, Seth Meyers spoke about the “messy separation” between Tucker Carlson and Fox News.

He noted that when the Dominion settlement happened, the network “barely even mentioned it despite the fact that it was one of the biggest media scandals in recent history” and included footage of a host not knowing the settlement number. “I dunno, maybe ask around, you work there,” he said.

This time with Carlson, they just “read one vague statement” and have acted “like he never existed” despite the fact that he had a “huge following amongst racist lunatics and people who want to fuck the green M&M”.

Rumours have swirled that it might have been for some racist statements he made but Meyers joked that “firing Tucker for racism now after tolerating it for so long would be like cancelling Sesame Street because you just found out they’re puppets”.

He also mentioned the dossier that was being kept but noted that Fox keeping a file of bad intel on an employee but not firing them and only storing it up for revenge, “speaks badly of them and you”.

He added: “That’s not how HR is supposed to work.”

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