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Evening Standard
Evening Standard
Entertainment
Tina Campbell

Jeremy Clarkson reveals extravagant funeral plans as many opt for direct cremation amid cost of living crisis

Jeremy Clarkson has given an insight into his funeral plans and says he has no intention of scrimping on them following reports by the BBC that the cost of living crisis has left many people abandoning the idea of a traditional funeral and opting for a cheaper direct cremation instead.

With direct cremation, there is no funeral service. This won’t do for the Clarkson’s Farm star, 62, who says he wants his final send-off to take place in a packed-out cathedral where it will go on for a good “hour or two,” with mourners “properly sobbing”.

Writing in his column for The Times, he explained: “I want no such minimalism at my funeral. I want my family to hire a cathedral. Lincoln, preferably, as it’s enormous, and since none of my friends lives anywhere near it, also inconvenient.

“And I want them to completely fill it with thousands of people who will be expected to stand there for an hour or two, properly sobbing.”

Jeremy Clarkson has also ruled out cremation over concerns his daughters will have his ashes turned into jewellery (Prime Video)

He continued: “You often hear people saying they want their funeral to be a joyful affair. But I don’t. This is why I don’t want a jokey Monty Python song played over the loudspeakers because I don’t want anyone looking on the bright side of life if I’m up there at the front, in a box.

“No, I want Barber’s Adagio for Strings, played by the organist and a full symphony orchestra.”

The former Top Gear host also made it clear that he will not be “cremated” or turned into a piece of jewellery as his daughters will “turn me into a nose ring”.

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