James May would be the first to admit he isn’t your typical celebrity chef.
But regardless of his self-confessed ineptitude in the kitchen, the Grand Tour presenter is back for a second series of his Oh Cook! show on Amazon Prime Video, taking on recipes from across the globe.
The rookie cook constantly reminds us his skills won’t be earning him a Michelin star any time soon, joking that he is going to “boil the a***” off his recipes and has his trusty fire blanket on standby. “I now know what I am doing – or do I?” he asks.
“Believe it or not, I now know my way around the kitchen.”
Here are his attempts at some of the world’s classic dishes for you to master at home with his simple tricks and everyday ingredients.
Er, good luck!
Spag bol
I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t like a spag bol. Strictly, this one is a ragù sauce, but ‘Bolognese’ now means any meat and tomato sauce on pasta. This needs less than half a bottle of red wine... use the rest in your face.
2 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, peeled and finely chopped
2 carrots, peeled and diced
3 celery stalks, diced
2 garlic cloves, peeled and crushed
450g/1lb minced (ground) beef
2 tbsp tomato purée
300ml/10fl oz/ 11/4 cups red wine
1 x 400g/14oz can of chopped tomatoes
A few fresh thyme sprigs
450g/1lb spaghetti
4 tbsp freshly grated Parmesan cheese
Salt & pepper
1 For the ragù sauce, heat the oil in a large pan, add onion, carrots and celery and fry until tender – around 5 minutes. Add the garlic and fry for another minute or two.
2 Add the beef. Stir and cook until browned. Turn it over constantly with a spatula to stop lumps. Stir in tomato purée and wine. Bring to boil.
3 Add tomatoes and thyme, salt ’n’ pepper it, and bring back to boil. Once boiling, reduce the heat and simmer for 20 minutes. If it looks too dry after a bit, add a tablespoon of water. Should you add the lid? Depends on how runny it is. Lid management is worthy of a PhD.
4 While that’s happening, put a large pan of salted water on to boil. Using a pan too small will make the pasta clag into a medieval building material. I use a whopper.
When boiling, add the spaghetti and cook a minute or two less than the packet says to ensure the pasta is ‘al dente’, i.e. with a slight bite to it. Drain the pasta into a colander in the sink and give it a douse with cold water to stop it cooking any further. Return the spaghetti to the same pan. Add the sauce to the pasta and mix well.
5 Divide between warmed plates and serve sprinkled with Parmigiano Reggiano cheesiano.
Shakshuka
This is especially popular in Israel, although everybody in the Middle East claims it as their own. It is in essence a vegetarian spicy tomato pizza without the base and with some eggs thrown in. ‘Shakshuka’, by the way, means ‘all mixed up’. That’s a clue. It makes a great sharing dish as it’s quite tricky to remove from the pan in a meaningful way.
1 tbsp olive oil
1 medium onion, peeled and diced
1 red (bell) pepper, deseeded and diced
2 tsp smoked paprika
1 tsp ground cumin
1/2 tsp chilli powder (or more if you’ re feeling cocky)
2 garlic cloves, peeled and finely chopped
1 x 400g/14oz can of whole peeled tomatoes
4 big eggs
A small handful of coriander (cilantro) leaves , chopped
Salt & pepper
1 In a deep frying pan, heat the oil and sweat the onion and pepper for around 5 minutes, or until the onion is translucent. Add the spices and garlic and cook for a couple more minutes.
2 Now add the tomatoes and salt and pepper to taste. Squash them down in the pan and mix them well with the other bits. Simmer gently for 15 minutes.
3 With a large spoon, make four hollows at the points of the compass in the mixture.
4 Crack an egg into each one. Cover the pan (ideally with the lid) and cook for 5–8 minutes, depending on how runny you want the eggs. They are poaching in the juice, and lid-on, lid-off management is key to cooking the bottoms and tops of the eggs equally.
5 Finish with a scattering of chopped coriander leaves. Serve with toast fingers f or dipping, or flatbread. Eat your shakshuka straight out of the pan.
Thai chicken noodle soup
Childhood chicken noodle soup came in a can withbits of plastic in the bottom. This Thai version useslemongrass. Nothing bad ever came with lemongrass
1 tbsp olive oil
450g/1lb boneless, skinless chicken breast, thinly sliced
2 garlic cloves, peeled and roughly chopped
1 tbsp Thai green curry paste
1 lemongrass stalk, finely sliced
1 tsp grated fresh ginger
1 litre/13/4 pints/4 cups hot chicken stock
75g/21/2oz rice noodles
150g/51/2oz mangetout (snow peas), halved
125g/41/2oz bean sprouts
1 bunch of spring onions (scallions), sliced
2 tbsp Thai fish sauce
Grated zest and juice of 1 lime
A handful of fresh coriander (cilantro), chopped, to garnish
1 Heat the oil in a large pan over a medium heat. Add the chicken, garlic, curry paste, lemongrass and ginger, and cook, stirring, until the chicken is turning golden.
2 Add the hot stock and bring to the boil. Simmer gently for 5 minutes until the chicken is cooked through (if you’re nervous, check by cutting a piece in half – there should be no pink meat).
3 Add the rice noodles and cook for 1 minute. Move them around to prevent them clumping together. Add the mangetout and cook for another 2 minutes.
4 Add the bean sprouts, spring onions, fish sauce, and the lime zest and juice. Simmer until heated through.
5 Divide the soup among four warmed bowls and garnish with the chopped coriander.
6 Swap stories about an amazing club you went to in Bangkok.
Apple crumble
Canned fruit (in juice not syrup) is full of goodness and lasts a very long time. That’s why it’s given to armies. If you have some in your Cupboard of Plenty, with imagination it can be turned into this delicious crumble. No one will know it started life as a forgotten can. I used apple. You could try pears, peaches,apricots, mixed fruit,or tomatoes. Or not...
2 x 400g/14oz cans of apple slices, drained of any juice
100g/3.5oz/3/4 cup flour
70g/2.5oz/⅓ cup cold butter, diced into small cubes
70g/2.5oz/3/4 cup rolled oats
100g/3.5oz demerara (raw brown) sugar
1 Start this easy recipe by pre-heating the oven to 200°C/400°F.
2 Place the apple slices in a shallow ovenproof dish.
3 In a large bowl, rub the flour and butter together between your fingertips until the mixture resembles breadcrumbs. Use a sort of combined squeezing and tossing action, a bit like a mystic.
4 Mix in 50g/1.75oz of the oats and70g/2.5oz of the sugar.
5 Sprinkle the apples with this mixture and top with the remaining oats and sugar.
6 Bake in the oven for about 30 minutes or until it is golden brown and crisp on top.
7 Enjoy with readymade tinned custard or you could use custard powder. Obviously
Homemade cheeseburgers
In the modern world, making your own burger patties is a bit like making self assembly furniture kits –pointless. But it is satisfying. It may surprise you how pure and simple a burger can taste if you’ve hitherto bought them from roadside caravans. You can also use veggie meat substitute, but add several tablespoons of vegetable oil to the mix, or you will be trying to eat the contents of an office shredder.
1kg/2lb 4oz extra-lean minced (ground) beef
1 tbsp tomato ketchup
2 medium eggs, beaten
6 thin-cut slices of your chosen cheese
6 burger buns, halved
6 tbsp mayonnaise
6 lettuce leaves, shredded
3 large tomatoes,thickly sliced
6 cocktail gherkins, sliced
1 large onion, peeled and thinly sliced to make rings
Salt & pepper
1 Put the beef, tomato ketchup and egg into a bowl. Season with a pinch of salt and a big grind of black pepper. Mix well together.
2 Divide into six equal portions and shape into balls. Now use the palm of your hand to flatten into patties. Make them uniformly thick for even cooking. They need to be roughly the diameter of your buns.
3 Put the patties on a tray and cover with clingfilm. Put them in the fridge for at least 1 hour. Chilling helps them bind together.
4 Prepare your barbecue. The coals should be grey and ashen, like a chemistry teacher’s face, and there should be no flames. Be patient.
5 Add the patties to the hot grill. You should cook each one for between 5 and 6 minutes per side, depending on the thickness.
6 Check the burger designated as your own with the point of a knife. It shouldn’t be pink in the middle.
7 Don’t be tempted to press the patties onto the griddle. This will squeeze out nourishing juices, which will drip onto the coals and end up creating horrible smoke. Just leave them alone,for Pete’s sake.
8 Once both sides are cooked, lay a slice of cheese on each patty and cook for another couple of minutes, until the cheese is half-melted. At the same time, lay your sliced buns inner-facedown on the grill, to toast them lightly.
9 Now assemble the burger. Spread mayonnaise on the bottom half. Add the cheesy burger followed by the lettuce, the tomatoes, the gherkin and finally an onion ring. Add the lid.
10 Then discover that the depth of the burger is greater than the maximum opening achievable with your mouth.
Jam roly poly
The appeal of this classic is not just its rich flavour – ‘roly poly’ is a funny expression in the way ‘spotted dick’ isn’t. Raspberry or strawberry jam could be replaced by marmalade, Nutella, or thinly sliced Spam. But I don’t recommend the Spam...
Softened butter, for greasing
200g/7oz/⅓ cup self raising (self-rising) flour, plus extra for dusting
100g/31/2oz shredded beef (or vegetable) suet
1 tbsp caster sugar
Pinch of salt
150ml/5fl oz/⅔ cup semi-skimmed milk or water
6–7 tbsp raspberry or strawberry jam (jelly)
1 Preheat the oven to 200C/400F. Butter a large sheet of baking parchment.
2 Stir the flour, suet, sugar and salt in a bowl until combined. Slowly stir in the milk or water to form a soft, spongy dough.
3 Knead the dough on a floured surface for a few minutes. Roll the dough out into a 22 x 32cm/8½ x 13in rectangle.
4 Spread the jam onto the dough, leaving a 1.5cm/½in border around the edge. Slightly dampen the border with water. Gently roll the dough up from the short end and transfer to the baking parchment, seam-side down. Wrap the roly poly in the baking parchment, making along pleat in the paper to allow the pudding to expand as it cooks. Twist the ends of the parchment like a Christmas cracker and tie tightly with kitchen string. Repeat wrapping process with kitchen foil.
5 Place the pudding on the roasting rack inside the tin. Pour boiling water halfway up, just to the base of the pudding, and cook in the oven for 30–35 minutes.
6 Remove pudding, unwrap foil, snip string and unwrap parchment.
7 Pudding should be well risen and lightly browned in places. If the jam has seeped through to the outside and ends up on your face, don’t worry.
8 Place on a warmed serving plate and cut into thick slices.
