Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably seen the news that Jennifer Lopez has filed for divorce from Ben Affleck. Known as Bennifer, the pair famously dated in the early aughts, got engaged, and broke up 20 years ago. When they tied the knot officially in 2022, some saw it as a beautiful full-circle moment.
Unfortunately, J.Lo broke that circle on August 20, 2024, their two-year wedding anniversary. Many experts have speculated that the couple — despite both having already been previously divorced — did not have a prenup in place since the divorce filing did not mention one.
That’s not the only reason why the topic of prenups has been in the news lately.
On the premier season of Netflix’s “Love is Blind UK,” one of the couples — Freddie and Cat — found themselves in a disagreement about a prenup. As a homeowner, Freddie wanted Cat to sign a prenup saying that if he dies, his home will go to his sister, not Cat. This situation seemed to become a problem for the pair, who didn’t go through with the wedding.
So what’s the big deal about prenups — and why is everyone talking about them?
What is a prenup?
A prenuptial agreement is a legal document that explains what will happen to a couple’s assets if they get divorced. A prenup can also have rules on other issues, like how to share custody of an animal or if alimony will be expected.
As the average age of couples getting married increases, more and more people are also getting prenups, or at least considering them. A 2023 survey found that 50% of people supported prenups, compared to 42% in 2022.
However, many couples still resist the idea. They don't want to sign a prenup because it seems unromantic or pessimistic, like you're already thinking about the relationship ending.
But at a time in which about 43% percent of couples get divorced, it doesn't seem far-fetched to consider what happens if your relationship potentially ends.
“Every married couple already has a prenup — you either write your own or you accept the default prenup of the state where you’re living,” said family law attorney Aaron Thomas, founding attorney at Prenups.com. “But the problem is, no one ever reads the default prenup of their state. They just get married.”
Drafting your own prenup just means that you can personalize the situation to fit your specific needs.
Why do people need prenups?
Thomas said couples should think of a prenup as an insurance policy against a pricey divorce. In his experience, middle-class couples may benefit most from a prenup because they have a harder time affording a lengthy divorce compared with wealthier peers.
“I’ve worked on many divorce cases where the couple spends $100,000 between the two of them,” Thomas said. “The idea that you can resolve all that for a few grand ahead of time and a potentially sticky conversation just makes it a common sense thing.”
Like any kind of legal document, a prenup can be pricey. Family lawyer Rebecca G. Neale of Bedford Family Lawyer said the cost will vary. However, couples should expect the cost to start at $2,000 per person.
“If you have a high-quality prenup, then your divorce will be a lot simpler because everybody has established their expectations for what happens if they’re divorced,” Neale said.
Not only can prenups speed up the divorce timeline and save money in the long term, but the process of creating a prenup can also spark important discussions. For example, one person may want to be a stay-at-home parent before the kids start school. If they get divorced during this time period, they may want alimony so they can continue being a stay-at-home parent.
Also, marriage and family therapist Megan Flinn of Fountain Square Counseling and Wellness said it’s a good way to practice having difficult conversations later on.
“To engage in these difficult conversations while still riding the high of early relationship bliss, couples can use the conversation around a prenuptial agreement to build their roadmap for handling difficult conversations in the future,” Flinn said.
How to create a prenup
If you already have an attorney you’ve used for other situations, you can ask them for a recommendation. You can also find a family law attorney through your state's bar association. Some attorneys provide a free consultation, while others will charge for the initial visit.
To create a prenup that is fair for both of you, you should each have your own lawyer. Using the same lawyer means that neither party is getting a fair shake.
Both Neale and Thomas said couples should give themselves around six months to go through a comprehensive prenup process.
“If the process is rushed or unfair to one side, then it's less likely that the agreement will be valid and enforceable,” Neale said.
Drafting a prenup can be a costly and time-intensive process, not unlike wedding planning itself. And if you’re willing to go through that to get married, then a prenup shouldn’t feel so difficult — especially if you’re on your fourth marriage like J.Lo, or finding love on a reality show.
