Not all family traditions are created equal. While some of them might be wholesome and uniting, others are so weird and invasive that you wonder why anyone would continue doing them. Some odd wedding traditions violate the newlyweds’ privacy and should, frankly, be left behind in the past.
A bride-to-be, who was considering canceling her own wedding, asked the internet for help. She said that she’s having second thoughts after she found out that her fiancé’s family has a ‘bedding’ ceremony, which freaked her out. You’ll find her story, update, and the internet’s responses below.
It’s okay to have family traditions, as long as they carry meaning, pass down values, and build identity
However, when a tradition is quite literally watching someone be intimate, then it’s problematic
It is not to say family traditions are all bad, as there are benefits to them, but they have to make sense, and can’t be forced
Family traditions are activities, gifts, stories or songs that are continued through a family’s life together and passed down from generation to generation.
For a tradition to be considered a tradition, it has to have several defining characteristics. Traditions have to be meaningful exercises that are aimed at fostering a connection to loved ones and providing a sense of unity and stability.
Forcing someone into a tradition—whether they don’t want to or their beliefs are different—is not in the true spirit of what it means to uphold a tradition. By proxy, coercion goes against the definition of tradition. It’s also an indicator that traditions need to be adapted or changed altogether so that togetherness can continue without making someone awkward, grossed out or otherwise uncomfortable.
For context, yes, bedding is definitely a legit custom, in the sense that it exists. However, it goes against the idea of togetherness because it’s forced.
What are your thoughts on all of this? Where do you draw the line when it comes to family traditions? How do you protect your boundaries from your partner’s family? What are some relationship red and green flags that you keep an eye out for? What, from your perspective, is the secret to a truly happy and healthy marriage? Share your takes in the comment section below.
Needless to say, commenters were grossly weirded out by this and ruled that the woman is not in the wrong
Roughly 2 months later, the author of the original post provided an update confirming that the fiancé is now an ex
Folks online were still grossed out, siding with the woman and sharing their takes on the matter
