Being from Bridgend where there was a very small queer community, things have not always been smooth sailing for the south Wales actor Rhys Taylor, who came out publicly just four years ago. They had always known they were non-binary, but had not known how to relay this to others for a long time.
Things are now looking up for Rhys, who is now taking the steps to get the gender affirming care they have wanted for so long by undergoing laser hair removal. Working in an industry where feeling good about yourself is key, Rhys is hoping their gofundme page can help them finish the process, as well as support the costs of a hair transplant.
The actor and comedy writer has had a whirlwind acting career so far, having appeared in the hit musical Everyone's Talking About Jamie as the character Tray Sophistica and is currently performing in the cast of Eugenius at the Turbine Theatre near Battersea Power Station. They have also been in the musical Millenials, the West End's Book of Mormon and in season four of Bad Education.
Read more: Welsh Government plan to make it easier to change gender in Wales
Rhys grew up in Brackla, and went to Brynteg Comprehensive School. But they found that it wasn’t the easiest place to feel accepted for who they were, and said: "It was only in recent years that I was able to find the language to express what I feel on the inside."
Rhys said: “There is virtually no queer community in Bridgend, and so most of my connections with other people going through the same thing have stemmed from the online world. I don't have loads of queer friends and a lot of those people from these kind of areas leave to move to places like London or Cardiff where everyone is much more open about it."
When Rhys was growing up and going through puberty, they explained it was like their body was “betraying” them, as they started to experience hair growth. But now that Rhys is finally undertaking treatment, it has been a chance to regain some control.
So far, they have self-funded laser hair removal and are now 11 treatments into the process, and although they still have a way to go, Rhys is already feeling the difference. They said: “It’s a slow and painful road, but I already don’t have that feeling of sandpaper on my cheeks. The process itself is incredibly painful because the hair is so coarse and thick and deep but it's worth it.
"But after a week or so, just feeling that area becoming smoother, and feeling that softness in the cheek - I can't really describe it. Gender euphoria I think is a good phrase that the community uses because it is a euphoric feeling, to feel like you are regaining something.
According to the NHS, laser hair removal is safe, but it can occasionally cause side effects like pain and discomfort, and red skin that may last for some time. For Rhys, although the procedure was very painful, and caused them swelling afterwards, they have had no side effects.
It has taken a leap of faith for Rhys to set up a fundraiser online, as they once tried to do something similar, but did not get much of a response and so took it down. This time, things are different, and they have already raised almost £2,000 of the £10,000 goal.
They said: "I didn't always think it would be possible, being from a working class, single parent background. I self funded myself through drama school and all of that, and that in itself was very expensive. And working in an unpredictable business, as well as working in that through the pandemic wiped out any savings that I did have. So you do feel at points a bit hopeless, just thinking that I'd have to deal with it.
"Getting to the stage now of doing a fundraiser was a last resort situation. Asking for support is hard, but the outpouring of support has been really wonderful.
"There's always that feeling of not being worthy, or trans enough to warrant help but people have just been so lovely. I don't know if it's because I'm from a lower income background that you don't always feel like you can ask for things, or that you should be asking for it because you try and think - I can do this. Sometimes you look at other people and think their needs are much greater so you want to try and spotlight their needs and highlight them above your own."
Rhys also feels that they are not the only person who is struggling to access the treatment they need to live life to its fullest. They are now keen to help however they can so that others can avoid feeling like they can't ask for support.
Rhys said: "If I did manage to make more money than I actually needed then I would donate that to other trans people in need. And if I was to become more successful in my field I would also want to dedicate time and money towards helping trans youth because we have lost so many people to suicide who weren't able to access gender affirming care because they felt hopeless.
"Even though we're hearing a lot about how easy it is for trans people to self identify and take up these resources, it's certainly not the case. It's simply not what I've experienced, it's certainly not what other people I've come across have experienced and we're losing some great people because they weren't able to feel like themselves which is a really sad thing."
Rhys is still based from Bridgend mostly, but said "you never know what the future could hold". One of their dream roles is to play a character like 'Ursula' from Disney's The Little Mermaid, much like Melissa McCarthy's portrayal of the character in the live action remake, drawing on her drag queen persona which she adopted while performing in costume in New York.
Rhys said: "There are more and more roles coming out now that are much more suited to people who are queer. Companies are also getting much better at creating these roles - a lot still have a way to go and it's by no means perfect but we are getting there."
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