We all procrastinate, but most conventional advice for conquering it doesn’t work, at least not for me, beyond chores like cleaning the kitchen or going to the gym or getting my tax return in on time. It certainly doesn’t work for the kind of procrastination that has obstructed my best life: swerving that relationship I craved; postponing for years a book on the philosophy of love that I yearned to write before finally putting pen to paper; failing to pursue the hobby – piano playing – to which I’ve been devoted since childhood, while my piano sat in a corner, closed and silent.
It’s no use being told by self-help books to formulate my top priorities when I already have core goals that define who I am or want to become. Or to be urged to break up tasks into bite-sized steps, with a deadline for each step, because how does that work when it’s a relationship or a vocation that I’m avoiding? Conventional advice says I should forgive myself my paralysis rather than beating myself up about it but, soothing as this is, it doesn’t magically give me either the focus or the energy I need to fulfil those prized goals. I can remove external distractions, especially online access, but what am I to do about distractions inside my head: fantasising, say, about a holiday or a romance as an escape from the task in hand?
