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Manchester Evening News
Manchester Evening News
National
Sophie Halle-Richards

'It's not always about a black eye': The unspoken signs of domestic abuse every woman needs to know about

"She doesn't look like a victim.

"Where are her cuts and bruises?

"She's too rich to be affected by domestic abuse."

These are just some of the dangerously common myths and stereotypes commonly believed about domestic violence. But the simple truth is, anyone can be a victim.

To help educate women, and people of all genders, a Greater Manchester helpline has now produced an important film about the different types of ways victims can suffer abuse in the home.

It comes as 67,016 reports of domestic violence were reported to Greater Manchester Police over the last 12 months, and during a time when relationships are coming under increasingly more tension due to the current cost of living crisis.

READ MORE: 'He's abusive but I can't afford to leave:' Hidden victims of cost of living crisis

The Greater Manchester Domestic Abuse helpline want everyone to watch the short film - 'Behind Closed Doors' - to raise awareness of the unspoken signs of domestic violence everyone should know about.

These include emotional abuse, which can be characterised as being hyper-critical or judgemental of your parenting and decisions you make, name-calling, manipulation, guilt-tripping, withholding affection, making unreasonable demands, invalidating your feels by saying you're crazy or too sensitive, or drastic mood changes.

The Behind Closed Doors film was premiered at Everyman cinema in Manchester (Vincent Cole - Manchester Evening News)

It can also take the form of economic abuse, where a partner might create issues at your job, stop you accessing money, limiting how much money/belongings you have, putting loans in your name, limiting your working hours, stopping your education, damaging your property, or forcing you to justify your spending.

A common misconception is that you cannot be sexually abused or raped by a partner or husband, a myth the helpline is keen to dispel. In fact, one in two rapes against women are carried out by their partner or ex-partner.

Domestic violence can take the form of sexual abuse, which may include your partner refusing to talk to you if you won't do what they want sexually, forcing you to do sex acts that you find demeaning, saying that they can only have one type of sex, using violence to make you feel you have to have sex, and threatening to release intimate photos of you.

The video, filmed and created in Manchester by Help Film, was premiered at the Everyman cinema in Manchester city centre on Thursday (8 December) and attended by key local figures including detectives from GMP, councillors and the Lord Mayor of Manchester.

Speaking at the screening the Lord Mayor, Donna Ludford, referenced her own experience of abuse, after being placed in Manchester's care system when she was just six-months-old.

"I am aware that Manchester has problems that all other cities have. Around 500 incidents of domestic abuse are reported every two weeks to police and the vast majority of victims are female," she said.

The Lord Mayor of Manchester, Donna Ludford (Vincent Cole - Manchester Evening News)

"We also know there is a strong link between victims in deprived areas and more pressure is put on relationships as more people are worried about the cost of living crisis.

"We have six refuges in Greater Manchester and we have support for victims living in temporary accommodation. I know how important this is.

"As a child I grew up in the Manchester care system from the age of six months and I suffered every kind of abuse possible by the people supposed to take care of me.

"My childhood memories are very dark and painful. As a teenager I even considered suicide. I never received the help I needed to protect me from the evil that sometimes exists in our society."

Superintendent Jane Higham from GMP admitted that the culture of some of the force's male police officers in response to domestic violence had not been 'what it should be,' as she pledged to improve the support offered to victims.

Superintendent Jane Higham (Vincent Cole - Manchester Evening News)

"I think if you spoke to female police officers a lot of them would say they have experienced domestic violence especially at the hands of male police officers," she said, speaking at the event.

"We are starting to see some real improvements in our response. We have domestic abuse matters training with all of our officers.

"We have seen one or two officers behave badly during that training. If they behave like that in front of us what must they be like on a call out. When we find them we get them in and nail them down. The culture still exists but we will stamp it out."

Of the 67,016 reports of domestic abuse reports made to GMP in the last 12 months, Supt Higham said 46 per cent of these were for non violent offences including stalking and coercive control, highlighting that abuse in the home isn't always physical.

The film set, which was directed by domestic abuse survivor Chrissie White, aims to show that even though a home may appear happy, things may not always be as they seem.

"Things like the fresh bouquet of flowers, the I love you cards, the nice candles - these are things that highlighted my own journey," she said.

Chrissie White (Vincent Cole - Manchester Evening News)

"I was given the luxury gifts as a way of saying sorry but there was no real apology behind it. It wasn't physical abuse for me, it was everything else you see on this film."

Independent Choices Greater Manchester launched their confidential Greater Manchester Domestic Abuse Helpline in 1978. It is open for anyone over the age of 16 who is experiencing or has previously experienced domestic abuse and violence in any form.

You can call for free on 0800 254 0909 or visit their website for more information.

Read more of today's top stories here.

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