Described by its creators, the US comic Kyle Gordon (under the pseudonym DJ Crazy Times) and singer Chrissi Poland (in the guise of Ms Biljana Electronica), as “every European dance song in the 90s”, Planet of the Bass is a fiendishly clever Eurodance satire – and, after debuting as a short clip on social media, it looks as if it could become a late contender for song of the summer. There are nonsensical lyrics in broken English – “If you want parties to be making / Have some noise, Bratislava!” – oodles of “na na na na nas” and, whisper it, an earworm of a tune.
But what on earth do classic Eurodance artists make of it? We asked six keepers of the flame what they think.
‘It’s like Borat with music’
Sannie Carlson, AKA Whigfield I’m so jealous of Planet of the Bass. It’s absolutely brilliant. When the DJ started talking, I was sold. Then the girl comes in and starts singing really bad lyrics. The video has the words at the bottom, but if you listen to or read them – especially what the DJ is saying – that is how it was in Germany or wherever in the 90s, just slightly exaggerated. It’s like Borat, but with music.
People say it’s taking the piss out of Eurodance. Of course it is, because it’s funny. When Saturday Night [Whigfield’s 1994 No 1] was followed by all these spoofs, I thought it was so funny because you can’t take yourself too seriously, although many Eurodance artists do. The news is so depressing so people need to laugh. In a way, this song reflects what the world looks like now. That line “Women are my favourite guy” [which has become a meme] is interesting because nowadays we have lots of wars, boys are becoming girls and vice versa. The line about world peace reminded me of those Miss Universe entrants when they go: “I believe in peace and love and … world peace.” I think he’s taking the piss, but really does want world peace.
‘It’s terrible, but fantastic’
David Dennison AKA Junior K of N-Trance The three preview clips on TikTok used a different singer each time, none of whom is the singer on the record, which is a very knowing spoof of what went on in the 90s. Some acts would use a professional singer in the studio, but then hire a model to front the band for the video, the most famous example being Black Box’s Ride on Time. So it’s a satire of something that was actually quite brutal.
Musically, Planet of the Bass is an accurate Eurodance recreation but with a more modern sound. The DJ sections remind me of [German band] Scooter, but obviously Scooter aren’t that bad [laughs]. The lyrics are nuts but, among all the mad lines about unicorns, there are elements about world peace where you think: “Is this guy joking or is he serious?”
The generation listening to this track have never known war and they’re struggling to comprehend how suddenly [with Russia/Ukraine] it’s become acceptable. In the 80s and 90s, gay people had to pretend to be straight, but this song’s scattered messages seem to recognise how far we’ve come in terms of gay or trans pride. Everything’s wrapped up in an old school Eurodance vibe, which he’s absolutely nailed. It’s terrible but fantastic.
‘The innocence of the pre-internet era fascinates young people’
Danielle Barnett, Urban Cookie Collective I’m a big fan of parodies – “Weird Al” Yankovic and all that – but I think this track is much cleverer than meets the eye. It’s done in a very playful way with a very catchy melody, but there are lots of hidden messages. The first word is “alert!” and the last two are “world peace”. In the middle, he yells: “Tell the world, stop the war.” It’s almost a subliminal message, but clear and very powerful. When something is this catchy and people all over the world are singing it, you create a world with your words, so it’s become a viral statement. There’s a bit in the video where she’s singing: “Yes, I am a girl” but she looks like a robot. And there’s a line about “cyber system overload”. So, it also seems to reference artificial intelligence.
The sound is deliberately 90s Eurodance because the innocence of the pre-internet era seems to fascinate young people now. We were less controlled, more relaxed, so nostalgia for that era is so powerful. Back then, cutting through the noise was all done with white labels in clubs before record companies got involved. There’s more noise to cut through now, but [Gordon] has used TikTok the same way to bypass the music industry. It’s going to touch the people that are meant to be touched by it.
‘The guy’s obviously done his homework’
Ultra Naté When I first heard it, I thought it was the craziest spoof I’ve ever heard, but it’s an affectionate parody and the guy’s obviously done his homework and dug deep to get all the inferences. It’s got all the obvious Eurodance tropes and those sounds that worked in the 90s still have mass appeal, but everything’s been dialled down to make them easily digestible to kids – simple, almost nursery-rhyme melodies layered with all these simple hooks. Anything on TikTok has to grab you in the first eight seconds or you’re on to the next video, and it does. It’s got all the ingredients of proper pop in that “I like to move it”, “Hello, Barbie, let’s go party” hands-in-the-air way. It’s humorous and tongue-in-cheek, but the tune’s good enough for it to have just as easily become a serious song.
‘I feel partly responsible for this’
Photograph: Pictorial Press/Alamy
Gianfranco Bortolotti, Cappella The voice is very high in the mix compared with a 90s standard, but it is very beautiful. In the 90s, I would have kept it more drowned out in the arrangement. Planet of the Bass seems to be attempting to relaunch dance music in its most successful form – the house of the 90s/00s – by amusingly aping its pluses and especially its minuses. Having had many successes in Europe and the world, and being spokespersons for Italians singing in bad English, I feel partly responsible for this.
‘If it was playing in a club, I’d have to leave’
Desa Murphy, Bassheads It will appeal to listeners of Europop and commercial trance. It reminds me of Aqua, 2 Unlimited, all those groups. It’s a good pastiche of all the cheesy Europop tracks I’ve ever heard. I’d never play it as a DJ and if it was playing in a club, I’d have to leave, but the production style is a kind of homage. You could mix it in with that stuff from that era and it would fit in perfectly. It could be a Eurovision entry.
The lyrics sound like somebody put an idea into ChatGPT. They don’t make sense and somehow it works, but the video looks like a classic MTV clip and I can definitely see the commercial appeal. Like Aqua’s Barbie Girl, it’s the sort of tune that people might hear on holiday in Europe, come back and go and buy it. It’ll probably be a huge novelty hit, like [PSY’s 2012 K-pop global smash] Gangnam Style. Then we probably won’t hear it any more.
N-Trance are on tour and with Urban Cookie Collective and Cappella form part of the Biggest 90s 00s Disco festival lineup this autumn. Bassheads play Reminisce festival, St Helen’s, 9 September. Ultra Naté’s album Ultra [Deluxe] is released on 15 September.
