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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle
Annalisa Barbieri

It’s always me who makes the effort to see my friends. Don’t they value me?

An illustration of a man facing away with his arms crossed

My friends seem genuinely happy to see me when we’re together and usually accept when I suggest meeting up. But if I don’t initiate, I rarely hear from them. Not even a “Hi, how’s the new job?” or a “How are you?” Months can go by.

This makes me wonder if these people are real friends and question whether I’m doing something wrong. When we do get together, we share things about our lives, laugh a lot and do activities we all like, so time together makes me feel connected. But once we say goodbye, I don’t hear from them. It’s all very confusing and discouraging.

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