It was short, but sharp and, presumably, a shock.
James Corden was just banned from a famous New York brasserie after owner Keith McNally outed him on Instagram for being, he claimed, “the most abusive customer to my servers since the restaurant opened 25 years ago”.
A few hours later, McNally announced that Corden had “just called me and apologised profusely” and McNally had rescinded the ban. So, on the surface, all’s well that ends well.
But deeper than surface? Some might argue the damage has been done. When someone apparently shows you who they are, believe them.
Manners matter. They maketh not just the man, but humankind. As we go about our busy little lives, we have more impact on each other than we probably ever realise, a seemingly unimportant interaction with a stranger, lasting only milliseconds, can set the tone for your whole day.
Usman Hussain, who runs a cafe in Preston, Lancashire, knows this all too well, which is why he charges for drinks on a sliding scale, depending on how politely they’re ordered. Someone who barks, “Desi Chai” will have to stump up a fiver. If you ask for “a Desi Chai, please” it’ll cost you £3. And if you say, “Hello, a Desi Chai, please”, you’ll only pay £1.90.
No I didn’t know what a Desi Chai was either (it’s a spicy, sweetIndian tea), maybe we need to get out more – but that’s not the point.
“It’s a nice reminder to use your manners, because unfortunately sometimes we do need reminding,” Hussain explains.
As both a former waitress and current human being living on this planet, I could not approve of this policy more.
Also, why stop here?
It should be rolled out, globally, for everything. Hussain’s Law should apply to people who don’t nod or wave when you stop to let them walk on a zebra crossing, anyone who doesn’t say thanks when you hold a door open for them, or who spits on the street, or pretends to be asleep in the seats you’re meant to give up on public transport, or, worse, doesn’t even bother pretending to be asleep, or who listens to either music or a conversation on their phone on loudspeaker (unless the conversation is interesting) (which it never, ever is), or who puts their bag on the seat next to them on busy public transport, or who doesn’t flash their hazards when you’ve let them pull out in front of you, or who pushes past rather than letting passengers off the train or bus first, or who gets too close in the cashpoint queue, or who doesn’t stand to the side on an escalator, or who take up two spaces in a car park, or both armrests.
Rather than punishing these people financially, maybe it would be better if they were instead banished to a separate island, where they could all live rudely ever after.
Being ruled over, of course, if McNally’s posts are to be believed, by their king, James Corden.
