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Tribune News Service
Tribune News Service
Entertainment
George Varga

Iron Maiden singer Bruce Dickinson is loving his spoken-word tour: 'I can outdo Spinal Tap very easily!'

Bruce Dickinson is used to performing in arenas and stadiums as the lead singer in the English heavy-metal band Iron Maiden. But for his 2022 North American spoken-word tour, the veteran singer, throat-cancer survivor, author, airline pilot, motivational speaker, radio host, beer brewer and competitive fencer is happily appearing in smaller venues.

"It's about an hour-and-a-half of stories. The delivery is a bit like stand-up comedy," said Dickinson.

"I don't tell jokes, thank God," he clarified. "I'm terrible at telling jokes! But I do tell funny stories."

Following a 25-minute intermission each night on his spoken-word tour, he returns to the stage to answer written questions from the audience.

"(It's) usually in the hundreds. I whittle them down to 30 or 40," said Dickinson, who cited an unexpected source for how he formats the Q&A portions of his one-man shows.

"Years ago I went to see a spoken-word performance by (author and humorist) Quentin Crisp, who was an LGBTQ pioneer. He was witty (and) he did a Q&A where the audience wrote down questions. Clearly, he was not just answering them, but arranging them in a way (so that) there was a story to their questions.

"I thought that was brilliant because every night the show would be different. I tried it, and it worked. That's how the format came about."

Does Dickinson look for unusual questions to answer?

"Always," he replied.

"One guy asked me: 'What do you do about stage freight?' So, boom! Comedy gold straight ahead! Other people ask about my health. Or somebody would ask: 'Are you afraid to die?'

"There's a broad (array) of questions and I try to take the most interesting or left-field ones. Sometimes, I have what I call 'gateway questions,' where I say: 'Funny you should ask that, but it reminds me of the time when ...' and you go into another story. And one or two almost turn into Monty Python (routines)."

Dickinson, 63, spoke to The San Diego Union-Tribune from his recent spoken-word tour stop in Chicago. Here are edited excerpts from that conversation.

Q: You joined Iron Maiden in 1981. If anyone had told you then that the band would still be going today and that you would, in 2022, be doing a spoken-word tour of North America, how would you have reacted?

A: Um, I would have been intrigued!"What am I going to talk about?" A lot (in my life) hadn't happened yet. You know, as I morphed from wanting to be a singer who wanted to be a rock star, and away from wanting to be a rock star to being a singer who was telling stories and entertaining people — and the medium happened to be Iron Maiden — that started to interest me a lot more.

I'm pretty much not interested in the rock star thing. It's something I don't take terribly seriously, as (my spoken-word) audiences will find out!

Q: Your first book, "The Adventures of Lord Iffy Boatrace," was published in 1990, and you've written several more since. Did you do a book tour for "Lord Iffy," or any of your subsequent books? And, if so, did that have any cause-and-effect on your now doing spoken-word tours?

A: I had a three-book paperback (publishing) deal. But I never finished the third because I was so busy in Iron Maiden. "The Adventures of Lord Iffy Boatrace" and "The Missionary Position" were kind of a combination of toilet humor and satire. And the third one would have been similar. But there was a bit of a hiatus (while) I wrote a script about (notorious occultist) Aleister Crowley. That took years before it got made (as 2008's "Chemical Weapon"), and the film had a lot of imperfections.

Finally, I got around to my autobiography (2017's "What Does This Button Do?"). And that really was the genesis of the spoken-word show, because the publishers wanted me to go on a book tour, which I did. They rented theaters, and said they'd like me to do some readings. I said: "That's OK, but that's a bit dull. Maybe I'll expand and riff around the stories, and maybe we could do something interesting with the Q&A."

As a kid, I toyed with the idea of being an actor. I would have been a terrible actor. ... But I did quite a bit of it, and did improvisational and street theater, which I enjoyed. It sets your brain off in different ways than the rest of humanity.

Q: Did you ever get to meet Quentin Crisp before he died, and thank him for inspiring you?

A: No, I didn't. He was whisked out of the theater. But he was a fascinating character. And one of the inspirations for my (first) book was another character of (Crisp's) era — a jazz musician, (singer) George Melly, who wrote a fabulous autobiography about his life in a jazz band, "Rum, Bum and Concertina."

Q: Are you a jazz fan?

A: No, I'm not, although Melly was (more of) a comic singer in front of a jazz band. I booked him at my university when I was the college's social (activities) secretary, and he was very funny. I would not describe myself as a jazz fan, but I don't dislike jazz.

Q: During the Q&A portion of your show, does anyone ask you about your pre-Iron Maiden band, Samson, which was an inspiration for (the satirical film) "This is Spinal Tap?"

A: Well, I do a big riff about Samson. I can outdo Spinal Tap very easily! ... I can tell some stories about how ridiculous it was (in Samson). I actually do drop a couple of Spinal Tap moments in the show. I do a "Hello, Cleveland!" from time to time. I use the (spontaneously combusting) drummer bit, but not about a drummer.

In terms of me and Iron Maiden, you've got my (stage) trousers. What more do you need? I (do) five or six minutes on my trousers! And, hopefully, there's nothing in (my show) that gets nasty or unpleasant ...

There are times when people ask serious questions. I do get people who are cancer survivors or just starting treatment. ... They ask some questions and some are very personal, so you feel a little weird about reading them out loud. But you can kind of validate their worries by answering their questions. ... So, hopefully, the show has people laughing and learning a little, and basically feeling a lot better.

Q: Assuming a fan could somehow get into one of your spoken-word performances with two epees, two foils or two sabers, and challenged you to an on-stage fencing match — all liability issues aside — would you accept?

A: Oh, yeah. It would be hilarious, absolutely. I could do it with ("Star Wars"-like) light sabers; to me that be more funny. ... I carry my own fencing kit with me on the road. I try and stay in shape, because I'm still competing fairly seriously on the vets (fencing) circuit in Europe. It's a great way of getting out and not talking about anything (that has) to do with music or spoken-word shows.

Q: If your three adult children attended one of your spoken-word shows, would they be surprised by anything you said? Or would they roll their eyes and say: "Oh, dad. Not that story again!"

A: (Laughing heartily.) Well — heh-heh-heh — no, they wouldn't be surprised. They'd probably roll their eyes a little, and say: "Oh, dad. You really don't need to talk about your penis! You're 63!"

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