Although most of the physical injuries soldiers received during the Iraq war healed, the effect on their mental health could be described as far worse.
March 20 marks the 20th anniversary of the ground invasion of Iraq by Coalition forces led by the US.
In the two decades since, many of the soldiers who served have struggled with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
For some this included calling friends at 3am crying with a “bottle of Jack in one hand and a pistol in the other”.
PTSD is one of the great invisible wounds of battle and untreated can lead to dire consequences.
In 2021, research found that 30,177 veterans who gave served in the military after 9/11 died by suicide. This is compared to the 7,057 service members killed in combat in that same time.
Justin Hoover, 40, served in Iraq with the Stryker Brigades of the 25th Infantry Division.
He eventually left the country with two purple hearts, awarded to those wounded or killed in military service. The second was awarded after an attack from a suicide bomber.
But getting home was just the start of a new battle.
Justin explained: “We were all woefully unprepared for how we would feel.
"Getting calls at 3am from your best friends and they have a pistol in one hand and a bottle of Jack in the other.
“You have no experience of how the hell to talk someone down but I was in it now so I was doing it.”
Adam Magers is another veteran who spent years coming to terms with the few months he had in Iraq.
There he fought in the battle of Sadr City, something he described as “utter hell”.
He said: “When I got home I was really angry. I didn’t understand why. So I spent the whole of my first year drinking. I was drunk five/ six days a week.
"I was having nightmares. Obsessing about Iraq. Rewatching combat footage wondering what if?
“I had a video of my truck getting hit and I would rewatch that video over and over and try to watch it in slow motion and thinking what if that EFP [type of projectile] had been aimed a little higher.”
Despite huge steps taken, much with the help of psychotherapy, it is twenty years later and those wounds haven’t fully healed.
Adam went on “I still have panic attacks. But they’re rarer. It used to be every day. I used to not even be able to leave my house. I didn’t live in my 20s.
“I’m 37 now but from like 23-30 I was a ghost. I was barely living. I lost my entire 20s to Post Traumatic Stress.”
Tackling the mental health problems head on was a turning point for Adam.
But Justin explained why they can be such a culture of burying it while in the army, which carries on for veterans.
He said: “Of those 24 explosions I was in, we’re really good at reaching across the vehicle and asking: ‘Are you good?’ Because the dust has kicked up and you can’t see. Your eardrums are blown out so you can’t hear.
“But when we ask that it’s not asking how you’re feeling. It’s asking are you bleeding? And when this ramp comes down are you ready to stack bodies of those that tried to kill us?”
He carried on: “But at no time for any of those 24 times when we got back to base did anyone say ‘Hey we almost died. Are you okay with that?’
"Because we didn’t want the real answer, we didn’t give the real answer because these are team sports that are life and death.
“If I think you can’t pull the trigger, I’ve got a quick solution, weird kid and that’s to put you in the corner. And no one wants to be isolated so people deal with it on their own. And that manifests in unhealthy ways.”
After struggling with his own PTSD for years, Justin wanted to help others.
As Executive Director of The Battle Within, he now works with veterans, first responders and anyone else who might suffer from the often-dilapidating mental illness.
He also had a message to those suffering from PTSD: “The best time to plant the tree was 20 years ago. The next best time is today.
“I’ve worked with some real heavy pipe hitters (highly trained special ops soldiers)
“These are the people that most people look up to. The ones they make movies out of, that they make action figures out of. They have those struggles as well. No one is immune.”
The Samaritans is available 24/7 if you need to talk. You can contact them for free by calling 116 123, email jo@samaritans.org or head to the website to find your nearest branch. You matter.
