Meta introduced its new Instagram Teen Accounts today. It's designed to control what your teenager can access while using Instagram and to limit who can contact them through their Instagram account.
It looks good to investors and concerned parent groups, but this is not how you fix anything because it's probably not going to work as well as we would like.
I think of parental control software the same way I think of the door lock on your house. They are there to make sure people who want to do the "right thing" will do it but don't deter anyone else. If I want to break into your house, no lock will stop me and if your kids want to do or see something on the internet you do not approve of, they will.
This sort of software isn't necessarily bad. A minor child has no say when it comes to rules about being online because mom or dad are 100% in charge of their well-being. And that kind of responsibility can be overwhelming for some parents. Relying on a software solution to act as a nanny can seem helpful, and for a lot of kids, it might work — mom or dad said no can be enough to do the "right" thing.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say most kids aren't like this, based on my own experience as a kid. I'm old enough that we didn't have Instagram or any sort of social media, but there were things we were pressured to do, just like peer pressure can make a kid today want to be all-in when it comes to being online. And yeah, a lot of the time, I did what I could get away with. Deterrents were only inconveniences.
And that's the real problem here — software is never going to stop your kids from doing what they want to do. As long as they have access to Google, they will be able to bypass any filtering software you've set up. Kids are smart. Usually smarter than mom and dad when it comes to this sort of stuff.
In this case, it's even easier. There's the Instagram account mom and dad can see, and then there's the other one a kid can make with a free email address. One is used to talk with family and friends from church, and the other is used to be yourself — or what you think you want yourself to be. Remember, the internet is forever, and what you do and say today will follow you throughout your life.
Instagram uses age verification software in a number of countries, but something like this could be bypassed by pointing to a free VPN to say you live in an eastern European country like Croatia. Like everything else, software can't stop anyone who is determined.
Meta could solve this if they wanted to. One Instagram account per device means the only account a kid can have is the one mom and dad approve of — unless a kid has a secret phone for their secret Instagram, of course. Even trying to use the web browser could be redirected to only open the app. If Meta really cared, it would do this.
Things like this pop up all the time; companies have to try and build controls into their software because the world has things parents don't approve of. I get it and agree. There are some things out there a kid should simply not engage with.
I'm not saying companies shouldn't build things like this, but let's not pretend it's going to be a perfect solution. Maybe a better way to handle it is to talk with your kids. Let them know they will see and hear a bunch of crazy while they are online, and help them make the right decision themselves. Just because you're a parent doesn't mean you can't also be a friend.
I'm not about to tell you how to raise your children. I will tell you that any parental control you set up is easy to bypass because your kids are smarter than you give them credit for. That includes the Instagram Teen Experience.
