The ship I am on is careening through choppy waters somewhere off Geiranger in Norway. Uncommon at this time of year, such choppiness, I’m told by the acupuncturist peppering me with needles to nip any incipient nausea in the bud. Outside the room I’m in, the swimming pool sloshes around, cordoned off to avoid slippage and, beyond the spa, the fjord which would generally offer protection from the weather looks on, grey and impervious to the storm.
I emerge after an hour to find the anti-emetic session has worked, and I leave without the wobbly legs or sweaty palms I entered with, which, given that I am severely emetophobic and therefore opposed in the extreme to vomiting, is a blessing.
I know what you’re thinking: how on earth does an emetophobe wind up on a ship? There is one person responsible for both the fact that I’m there and that I’m ensconced in a spa: Kate Edwards. A long-time friend and the PR manager for Norwegian Cruise Lines, a company known for being home to spas with rather comprehensive offerings, she told me that cruises would be a natural fit for me given my love of a gentle existence interspersed with spas and other such comforts, and should I feel even a whisper of seasickness, their acupuncturist could sort me out.
She was correct, so much so that rather than totter back to my room via the buffet for something comforting, I stayed in the spa for some cupping to remove tension from my shoulders. After that, I took myself to the ice room followed by the charcoal sauna (a first at sea, I’m informed) and, finally, reclined on one of their hot stone loungers to take in the view from the huge window overlooking the bow.
Kate converted me to sailing, and, as a wellness aficionado, I found myself seeking out those that embraced the trend of spas becoming ever more exciting aboard these cities at sea. Things have extended far beyond the usual swimming pool and massage, you see, and now it is a thing among forward-thinking cruise brands to offer experts in alternative therapies alongside various grooming options, and a range of exercise classes and disciplines. Most add in salubrious restaurants and have incorporated the sense of wellness into the very design itself, which makes sense, given that few things calm ruffled nerves like the sight and smell of the ocean.
Take Celebrity Cruises, for example, which homed in on the notion of cruises fostering good health in 2021 by partnering with Gwyneth Paltrow and her brand Goop. For the firm’s Celebrity Edge ship a cadre of designers, including Kelly Hoppen, created comfy spaces festooned with crystals and maximum natural light not only in the spa but in all of the rooms and common areas. I went on board to check it out and was impressed by the float room, infrared sauna and crystalarium, but more so by the sense of brightness, making it anything but the stale affair you might expect from cruising.
Virgin Voyages triumphs here too, with, yes, a snazzy spa, but also multiple wellness areas outdoors on the deck. They’ve even got a tattoo artist on board, should you be tempted to immortalise your trip with an inking. I resisted, instead having a deep tissue massage complete with hot stones before taking to the hammock that they’ve cleverly installed on every balcony to watch the world sail on by.
NCL cruises start at £1,000 pp. Celebrity EDGE cruises start from £478pp. Virgin Voyages’ forthcoming Greek Island Glow seven-night cruise starts at £1,420.45 per sailor
