In The Worst News Of This Week, A New Study Reckons Under 40s Shouldn’t Drink Alcohol At All

In news that I’ve only just emotionally begun to process, authors of the Global Burden of Diseases study have found that folks aged between 15—39 should technically not be drinking alcohol at all. Yes, literally never. Excuseeee me? A term of scientists at the University of Washington in Seattle has put their big brains together to conclude that approximately 1.34 billion people on planet earth consumed a dangerous level of grog in the year of our lord 2020. Note, that was THE pandemic year but that’s still a bonkers number. The study was published in the peer-reviewed journal The Lancet. “Our message is simple: young people should not drink,” said lead researcher Dr Emmanuela Gakidou