Personal secrets come with a given understanding that this confidential information shared with you is something you shouldn’t share with others unless you’re undoubtedly sure it’s okay to do so. Or so a lot of people think.
As it turns out, some have a totally different view of how these things work. When this Redditor shared her secret of being an affair baby with her husband’s family, it didn’t take long for it to become general knowledge. When no one involved in this deed saw anything wrong with what they did, the woman was left devastated. Scroll down to read the full story!
More info: Reddit
Some people cannot be trusted with secrets no matter what, and it’s painful when they see no problem with it
Image credits: ERIC MUFASA (not the actual photo)
A woman loves baking and was supposed to bake a cake for her niece’s birthday party
Image credits: meijii (not the actual photo)
A few days before the party, she learned that her in-laws blurted out her secret about being an affair baby and an orphan to their friends
Image credits: freestocks (not the actual photo)
She lost it and told her sister-in-law that she would no longer be baking a cake for her niece’s birthday despite it being only 3 days away
Image credits: No-Note-3098
The woman’s in-laws were enraged, calling and messaging her husband until he got fed up and blocked them
The OP began by sharing that she loves baking and often makes things such as cakes for friends and family. So, with her niece’s birthday coming up, her sister-in-law asked her to bake a birthday cake, which she was happy to do.
The woman was honored by this request as now she officially felt part of the family. At some point, she even shared one of the deepest secrets with them about being born out of an affair and later growing up in a foster home due to her parents passing away and having no other family members who would want her.
However, things took a turn when, a few months later, the OP ran into one of her in-laws’ friends, who was notorious for being a bad gossip. She went out of her way to stop the author and show malice disguised as concern, asking questions about when she and her husband are having kids and pretending to worry about them because of the woman’s past.
The poster felt betrayed. She told her husband about what happened, and he then confronted his family, who kept defending their actions by saying that they only shared it with a close circle of friends and arguing that people would’ve found out about it anyway.
Understanding how little her in-laws cared about what they did to her, the woman told her sister-in-law she would no longer be baking the cake despite only 3 days remaining until the niece’s birthday. This made the husband’s family mad, and they kept attacking him with calls and messages to the point where he had to block them.
The commenters jointly stood by the OP, agreeing she was not the jerk in this story. While some pitied the woman for the difficulties she had growing up and this recent betrayal she had to endure, others commended her for how strong she was and reassured her of what a good husband she had.
Image credits: Marina Utrabo (not the actual photo)
It is quite a mystery why the woman’s in-laws thought sharing her secret with friends was okay. As we’re no experts in this field, we can only theorize about the real reason behind all this. Fortunately, the internet is a vast place that can offer answers to many questions.
According to what Dr. Asim Shah told Medical Xpress, as soon as people learn something they’re supposed to keep secret, they begin having obsessive and anxious urges to spill the beans. This phenomenon is called Ironic Rebound or Ironic Process Theory and applies to everything we’re told not to do, not only secrets.
If the person is naturally talkative, it adds another layer to the problem, as this only makes them more likely to share something they shouldn’t, and they often do it accidentally. However, that doesn’t mean it’s any easier for someone who’s quiet and keeps everything inside, as the stress this causes will eventually lead to spillage.
Additionally, some people feel that sharing these secrets can improve their friendships with the people they share them with, or they may also feel guilty about keeping something like that away from them.
At the same time, Eric Sangerma of Medium wrote that some reasons behind people revealing other’s secrets can come from more selfish places, as doing this is kind of a power trip. A person’s ego wants to garnish attention by showing everyone how special they are because they know something others don’t, and the temptation is hard to resist.
And lastly, we all hold at least some secrets. The bigger the number, the harder it is to carry, so it’s quite natural to feel the need to lighten the load. But the thing is, everybody has secrets of their own, and when it comes to sharing something, most people will prioritize keeping their own things private first.
Ultimately, while we now have a little better understanding of what might have gone in the in-laws’ heads when they shared the woman’s secret, it still doesn’t excuse their behavior and, even more so, their attitude. We can only hope they come to their senses soon enough and invest in fixing this relationship before it’s too late.
Do you believe you’re good at keeping secrets? Do you have any similar stories of big secrets coming out where they weren’t supposed to? Share all of it in the comments below!
People in the comments were very supportive of the poster and shocked by the insensitivity that her in-laws displayed
